Simply thankful to be breathing I suppose is the ideal way to say, as per aspects of life in general.
As I am glad to have been able to have a place to live for the time being during the Cedar Park Texas portion, I could have gone without the additional situations.
The painting above in the series which is called The Ornery series as per situations regarding a bed I created and the overall situations in a longer amount of time, in various aspects. However I knew the ways of my biological family and my ex-in-laws were a loosing battle as their sword, or who was their favorite male in regards of their dead-relative. My ex-in-laws except for Grandpa Nichols had given away all of the items I had given to them of their dead-relative to which their thinking there was more left of my dead-ex-husband than what was given in the multiple cases packed by the Army which there was 10 large black rubbermaid type of boxes filled with his belonging. My ex-sister-in-law Susie Marie Nichols-Lopez at the time and my ex-mother-in-law Grandma Nichols saw the Memorial Box the Army had given to me to be able to give to both my son #Letters4James and my daughter #Letters4Lidia at my housewarming party and BBQ which they each asked me why I had the items I had arranged compared to them having the Memorial Box as he was the baby of their family. It was explained as to why the Army branch had given the box to me for my son and my daughter as I am the only Executrix to the estate as the refusal to accept what I had already given to them as well as the funeral as well as having moved everything towards Carrollton Texas from San Antonio Texas in comparison to Fort Worth Texas was not good enough for those people, and their demand as to where they could make the Army branch make them one for themselves each was refused by me.
My ex-mother-in-law tried to demand the box and tried to deny my son and my daughter wrongly of such as her other daughter Mary Evongelina Nichols Osteen later at Grandpa Nichols' funeral had complained of the Memorial Box in Grandpa Nichols' house as well as not having enough pictures of her dead-brother who was extremely abusive in multitudes of ways which I had to do as best as I could to protect while the conversations occurred, to which she wanted the Memorial Box to go to her mother's house as well as tried to get me to put more pictures of her disgraceful and having stolen valor disgustingly pathetic and arrogantly egotistical waste of a breath dead-brother and my dead-ex-husband though their spiritual husband as per the funeral casket for their choices; to the psychosis of the problems to which they preferred to celebrate the death of their dead relative as well as the stolen valor by their choices, in comparison to being able to appreciate the life of both of the children biologically from.
Yet their choices to choose to pay more attention to the death and the dead relative and spiritual husband of which is my dead-ex-husband, and they were warned by many as to watch their attitudes towards such situations regarding the grace they had been given without actually being worthy of such and having been warned to watch out and pay attention correctly while being grateful for the way I had chosen to be regarding the funeral and the after portions of their dead relative and spiritual husband to them. The several arguments over the memorial box in the front area near the doorway by the door had multiple pieces go missing from the box and ended up at Grandma Nichols' house which since she refused to allow my son and my daughter to have the pieces of their dead father, Grandpa Nichols began given more heavy warnings prior to his death which as per such choices regarding the situations thereafter; I learned they had given the boxes away as well as all of the clothing, and each item inside to whomever they chose which included the suits of multiple colors and matching shoes. That was the last of what was left from such a time and when they learned they had given everything away to not keep anything for themselves first, they started to steal from the memory box from which was supposed to be for my son and my daughter their only living remnants of their dead relative and my dead ex husband.
My children at minimum had the shadow boxes I had made for each of them in their own rooms however the same problem regarding the shadow boxes after which there was nothing left of their dead father to leave for them because of how my ex-in-laws refused to simply just accept what they had already been gifted, to which when Grandpa Nichols had died the last portions of what once was from such times for Grandma Nichols was fully removed from her life and in his explanations she had to make the choice as to whether she was going to pick which was better for who as he warned her she would have to chose between her daughter Susie or choose in reference to what I would decide because as she was warned if she forced a decisions which had to be chosen not by her or by Susie though fully by myself; he warned her she would watch what could have been in her life dwindled from her view not to be seen again, except on the screen within the house he had purchased for their family which she had already admitted to what she had done in reference to the lies.
Though they thought there was more coming when it simply was just me bringing my son and my daughter to move closer from the area of San Antonio, that was told to me it was not good enough as they told me the funeral portions were ruined because I stood up against stolen valor and I refused to allow the keeping of the Bronze Star.
Grandpa Nichols enjoyed each moment he could with both of my children as he was able to give them the only pieces of memory which were possible to be positive as he knew what I had survived as he knew his son, to which I am thankful for being able to do so for my son #Letters4James and my daughter #Letters4Lidia as that time was and is important for as best as possible.
I cannot say the same for my ex-mother-in-law as the portions regarding the arrangement my ex-sister-in-law Susie Sweeny (new married last name something close to the spelling) with her twin females now though then was only her eldest daughter Breianna Marie (unknown married last name), middle daughter Marissa Marie (Nichols)(-Lopez)(?new married last name of her mother because of the identity theft to try to defraud the financial aide possibly because of time sorting paperwork?), and son Joseph Anthony Lopez (?sweeney? ?spelling?); while driving my white Kia Sedona Minivan to take also my ex-mother-in-law Grandma Nichols as well as my son James Michael Nichols as per them needing to go to that as per their own arrangement though the ingratitude for allowing my son to go to what I had not approved of personally through the individual myself as well as use my van, while returning on an empty tank from their trips to #Arizona as told to me to get a ceremony which they were made at me for not telling them about the Memorial Service at The #BAMC #SAMC chapel during the middle of the week as they felt they had been denied of the memorial service just in the same way as my son and my daughter had when they had rearranged the memorial service date to begin with because of the similarity of the legal portions of the first name and legal last widow name compared to my ex-sister-in-law's hyphenated legal last name during those years with the middle initial as the same letter though completely different middle names fully. Grandpa Nichols told them to stop being bitter about the Memorial Service reminding them they had moved the memorial service to the day of the funeral wishing I would have been told in time to get the picture from the memorial service to be able to take to the funeral service, which instead they contacted my neighbor Emily Hinjosa (?spelling?) to get the picture because of feeling slighted as to the fact I would not follow along their plans for such a schedule to drive back to San Antonio Texas from the north side of Austin Texas to then go back towards to get to Fort Worth Texas to get to the Laurel Land Funeral Home to be able to sign for their dead-relative's body as well as then learn about the fact as to all my standing up against stolen valor had been a problem to which the Chief Warrant Officer 3 had to go over the picture my ex-sister-in-law Susie Marie (Nichols-Lopez) (Sweeney? Sweetie? spelling?) had emailed to them though used for the memorial pamphlets at the funeral home as well as the rosaries she had gotten from wherever she had picked them up from to add to whatever bills were to be paid by her and Grandma Nichols as to whatever the Army was not going to cover the costs of as per the limitation of finances for such an event as the transportation from San Antonio to Fort Worth cut a large chunk of their allotment for such out of their budget allowed of up to $5,000.00 or $7,000.00 at the time in 2008 January.
As the situations went as they went the portions as to what they were unaware of for what they would cause from such a portion of choosing to go against my choices for the casket meant they did not realize to choose to be spiteful and put such pieces into a casket which was mine to do with as I saw fit, they were able to keep their dead relative's spirit for the spiritual marriage to him they wished for as well as a few others in reference to those who preferred such for a special moment of however you choose the wording per individual while other aspects were close at hand in other ways as per other aspects which I decided to make a promise to myself with such energies as per what would be done with each specific set of choices for such times.
The choices made were as the choices made and the timing of shows what aspects thereof and I kept up to my portion of which I had decided during the first separation as to be and to do the best I possibly could, so they would always be able to know I truthfully had been there doing everything I possibly could so they did not ever have to wonder if they were ever loved or cared about. I needed my son #Letters4James and my daughter #Letters4Lidia to be able to know with certainty despite situations how they would unfold, I would have given the best possible aspects as much as I could for the best possible outcomes for the short terms and the long terms and the longest terms possible for each of us individually as well as a family as there are those who know sometimes moves occur and life is as life is. I hope I truly had done so, and I truly hope I at minimum had succeeded in such for them as well as hopefully give inspiration for more to be better than what once was to make genuinely a better way for the current times into the future aspects for the best possible longest terms possible for much more in great ways. I feel I have had moments up and down though have given the best I could for each second possible, as knowing the aspects of my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury to know of the realities to such situations as time moves quite differently for me; though hopefully the best at all points in time as my son and my daughter knows always as to how much they always have meant to me and would always mean to me as #Letters4James and #Letters4Lidia hopefully they find for the ability to remain as such as much as they mean to me though they also know my website for if they need additional portions thereof as well as others who might need such a viewpoint to such different aspects possibly.
However the choices from the Arizona trip during the times afterwards to such aspects thereof the Bronze Star situation and more regarding the aspects of the self-awarded false medals from which Grandpa Nichols had actually earned himself from his time in Vietnam, I knew at a point they would begin to descend as Grandpa Nichols had warned them against doing and Grandma Nichols made the choices as she had which for each piece of those nick-nacks she had taken from the memorial box to put into her house meant a moment of time with memories thereof which she took away from being able to spend time with both of my children as per the timeframes specifically due to her hatred of me and the fact she felt slightest because of the memory box which was always intended for them only. Grandpa Nichols had in store for that female and her favorites as to what was to go next, and each aspect to such was as such which looking back to such times; I am glad to have made the attempts I had through ensuring the ability for them to go to visit if they wanted to though the choice to only want to go if I drove them or if they had my car to use during those times, was fully over as there was not need for ever reconnecting such after the point it had gotten to in 2012.
I am thankful to have been able to return to the state of #Texas to be able to when my daughter felt it was a good time to be able to stop by during #Christmas in 2020, as well as one more time in 2021. I am thankful to have been able to see her and speak with her as well as the aspects of my ex-in-laws at the area at the time, and I am honestly thankful more-so to be done with such aspects as that was enough time for them to choose as they had chosen. Now, it is the time to more aspects more closely aligned to what I had promised myself to my own aspects as to what I seek personally.
I have not denied nor been ashamed as to such aspects of which some might have misinterpreted or misunderstood, however I cannot be more thankful to have been able to have made the best attempts possible despite certain extended aspects thereof.
I love and hope for the best for my daughter Lidia Louise, just as I love and hope for the best for my son James Michael.
I am a thankful to be able to be proud Mom of two children which I did the best I could for our lives and our family, as well as many more as I could in the best ways I possibly could think to find.
I hope they are as proud of me as their Mom or Mommy, as I am proud of them being my only biological son and my only biological daughter.
I hope the cycles of which were problematic before have now had the chains of such problems broken to be able to sweep away the ashes to find the clearer way to start a new, to be able to progress forward to learn from such to be able to accomplish more with a more featherlike step forward in a more positive way.
My promise to myself well, the words for such regarding what would be of more genuine happiness and joy is as such shall go forward, hopefully towards the best aspects possible as quickly as possible to continue onward for myself with as the hopeful time as to live in a new way as the situations have shifted towards a new world for the best and though difficult to think of the possibility as how such relationships develop from this moment onward.
I saw the loss before anyone else believed me it was going to be, and the hell I went through is of which thankfully none others have had to get to such levels as the situations were complex to put mildly. The representation in the bed I created of the level of hell was actually quite ironic, to the same regarding Purgatory during the time fighting knowing it was a losing battle though still taking into consideration though I knew I was not going to win the battle of such times the war of which to ensure my son and my daughter and others were able to find a better way for themselves while my son and my daughter knowing I did everything I could in the most moral and ethical ways possible; would hopefully see the pathway towards a much brighter and positive future for them, myself, and more.
Heaven, well. That level of such as to how I personally am to get to such a level with another, admittedly at times despite my physical appearance I am quite modest in my opinion. However, such is as such is to which I can make a few joking references thereof. Yet still for the best possible I hope, ever-so much.
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