In reference of combining all of my journals I wrote through my original #fetlife account which I will post the link at the bottom for the clarifications thereof, I am going to have the transparency brought forward as to what can be seen from the original posting dates as to the current timeframe of this day 28 November 2021 for those to see as to my original #Facebook accounts of Susan MeeLing as well as Lady Dori Belle for the additional ability to see the connection links as to what I had discussed for many years and decades in person as well as online as to such factors as best as I could as to the circumstances. Possibly such details will assist to make sense, in the comparisons thereof as to the amounts of details though in addition I do not pretend or hide myself from my truth which others should realize it is important to be honest and truthful in many more ways than just in one or two moments as it is imperative to be more capable to recognize the truth in such aspects of life for far more than some might have realized despite all of my warnings as to what I knew to bring forward to assist as best as possible.
I will begin with posting my newer updated journals from my original account and work backwards as to the irony I noticed. There will be plenty to read in the ways of, whether or not you choose to venture into the areas of the website fetlife.
Posted on 7 November 2011
A/D Mentorship Programs - Understanding Diversity
A little back story...and I am going to jump around...so you're going to have to keep up...
Early in 2010, I was living in Dallas/Fort Worth and I ended up, some how contacting Lily Ma'am in Austin about the Dallas Mentor's Program...very much so accidentally...as She is the Austin Mentor's Program Administrator...little did I know...She forwarded me to Mr. Jeep, the Administrator for the Dallas Mentor's Program...and He put me on the list for the Dallas Mentor's Program...then...I moved to Austin later in the year due to my daughter's medical condition...so I was transferred to the list for the Austin Mentor's Program...the irony of it all...
So, January 2011, I went to the introduction to the Austin Mentor's Program and I was introduced to Ms. Cenna, Lily Ma'am, and the rest of the Austin Mentor's Program Mentors. To say I was taken back would be putting it mildly. The energy that I felt off of these people...these Mistresses and Masters...it was amazing...I knew that They knew what They were doing...I knew I was going to learn, experience, and grow...and I have...so very much... I did not know that from the first weekend how much I would take away from this Program, but looking back at that first day...I realize...I was unprepared for everything that I was about to go through, and though I have yet to graduate...I am grateful that I have made it this far.
About halfway through the year; I had to move back to Dallas/Fort Worth, as my daughter was transferred into a hospital in Arkansas. Why didn't I move to Arkansas when I made the move to Austin for her? There were many factors that I am not going to disclose, but I am going to disclose this, before you judge me for my choice. My son was a major factor in the decision process as he was tired of moving around as I had moved to DFW from San Antonio in 2008 just after the kids' father passed away so they could be closer to their father's side of the family, even though he and I were in the process of a divorce because I wanted the kids to get to know their father and not miss out on learning about him. However, my son was tired of the moves and he knew my daughter would get out at some point and we would move back to DFW, so instead of making 2 moves, he only wanted to make 1 and travel the 6 hours bi-weekly. Not that I should have to explain myself to anyone, but since some people think I am selfish and moved to Dallas/Fort Worth just to go to kink events...I figured I would finally clear the air...ANYWAYS...
So, I moved back to DFW and I was lucky enough to have the ability to transfer into the Dallas Mentor's Program from the Austin Mentor's Program. I was and still am THRILLED and I feel absolutely blessed that this was made possible! I was willing to re-do the Program if I had to, but I am soooooo grateful that I was able to pick up and move along from where I left off from Austin in Dallas! All of my Mentors from Austin through Dallas have been wonderful and I have learned and gained so much information...I cannot even begin to explain...and the Classes...and the Intensives...the Boot Camps...everything...it has been AMAZING...all of it has been wonderful! Every single experience that I have had has been astounding and almost too much for words. I have so much written down in my notebook...and I know I will revisit it time and time again...maybe not right away...but every now and then, definitely... So many notes on so many topics...
However, today...today was different...different in so many ways...why? Because it was the last Intensive Class? Because it was taught by the infamous Lillith Grey (-almost PhD-just as an FYI-)? Because of the subject matter? Because I took more notes in this Class than any other? All the above and more...
UNDERSTANDING DIVERSITY
In order to understand the following fully, one will have to take Lillith Grey's class on Understanding Diversity...these are just my notes...and afterwards...
As humans, we need to honor resistance by acknowledging the issues we have with whatever bothers us, possibly analyze why they bother us (at a later time), but at that time, let them be
^ (I have not done this as often as I should have, though I have done this at times. When I have, it was beneficial, though expressing my feelings to some, caused outrage in itself...one must be careful still when confronting one's feelings upon the subject at hand for even though one is analyzing one's feelings and deep emotions, there are still other's feelings and emotions at play at the same time)
triality - looking at things from a 3rd plane - a 3rd perspective - to look at the whole
Variables/Differences: race, life experiences, size, employment, culture (way raised), being raised by mom and/or dad, sex, gender, politics, sexual orientation/preference, physical ability'looks, religion, class, age, education, military, etc
schema - frame of how we understand the world around us by how we were raised and brought into the world from when we were infants, how we take in information as fact
inner-sectionality: diversity is not separate as other diversities meet together to form a whole - ie Chinese woman with disability
privileges are both earned and unearned
^ earned privilege: graduating college
^ unearned privilege: being born into upper class
myth of meritocracy: everyone is born equal
everyone is a victim, but everyone has privileges, own both
most oblivious to privileges
What does it mean to be a good person: kind, honest, do not seek to harm without consent, tries for good, giving, trustworthy, fair, positive attitude, consistent, act like a human
each individual experience is valid
power requires a source over and will strive to keep it's power over for good or ill if not kept in check
males have privileges over females and visa versa, depending on field
^ males: jobs
^ females: custody of children
no escaping receiving messages/advertisements
*discrimination - denying access based upon any variable/difference that does not allow access to resource
numerical majority does not mean power
developing identity is through: experience, thoughts, group involvement, introspection, change, interaction, trying things
sex = biological
gender = social
inter-sex = ambiguous sex = 5 births per day
can be masculine while being a female and not lesbian
can be feminine while being a male and not gay
can be either and be adroginous
sex does NOT describe orientation
fem is the correct definition, lipstick lesbian created by male
transgender = gender and presentation do not match
cis-gender - sex and gender match
trans-sexual - surgical/hormonal transformation
transvestite = cross dresser that does not identify as either gender unless in role
sex, gender, and orientation = 3 separate things
Body Mass Index = height, weight, and gender = not scientific and does not include ethicity
weight is not significant of health ie heart problems and health problems...it is what one eats/sedentary life style/etc
size is not indicator of health
all information by the government is not scientific
what one feeds self determines health
accept size and size privileges
In kink, what variables of diversities are privileged?
^ Male Dominants
^ female submissives/bottoms
How does privilege access make more kink availability?
^ Male Top: more acceptance/play/thought to be more knowledgeable in skill
^ female bottoms: more play
How does privilege provide kink more easily?
^ Money makes it easier for education/community/events/toys
Safe space?
^ Places like ClubFEM, Wick'D, All gay, subHaven, same interest groups, sub cultures within a sub culture
^ home within a group, so long as not separated from reality all the time, then becomes segregation
Self-correction when making a mistake is ok...everyone messes up sometime
It is ok for each group to have their own space
Be open minded and willing to change views
THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE SAYING
RECOGNIZE WE ARE ALL PRODUCTS OF OUR ENVIRONMENTS/EXPERIENCES/NATURE/NURTURE/EGO
WE ALL HAVE THE BASIC HUMAN NEEDS AND NEEDS OF HAPPINESS
AVOID BELITTLING BEHAVIOR
IF YOU CHANGE...ASK FOR FEEDBACK
DON'T BE AFRAID TO SELF-CORRECT - LEAD BY EXAMPLE - SHOW THAT NO ONE IS PERFECT
AVOID "US" AND "THEM" LANGUAGE
CELEBRATE ALL GROUPS, EVEN ONES YOU DO NOT BELONG TO - CELEBRATE DIFFERENCES
ACKNOWLEDGE DISCRIMINATION
CHALLENGE PRIVILEGE AND SET AN EXAMPLE TO OTHERS
Taking this last Intensive...no pun intended...was intense...
We did this walk...we were in 2 lines...Lillith Grey read different statements and asked us to take steps forward and backwards if they applied to us and at the end we were to see where each of us stood. We all started on the same level (even though in real life, we all know we do not) and it was interesting to see where everyone was at the end).
...sigh...it sucked though...to see it in my face...granted...I was not all the way in the back...but I damn sure was no where near the front...with only a very small group of people behind me...I felt so...so...ostracized...I always know it can be worse...and yes today it showed me it could be worse...though once again as I know...only by a little... And though as I always say, I always hope that no one suffers any worse or more pain as I hate to see others suffer...I was upset to see where I stood... So many questions where I had to take steps backward...so many things where I just was not as good as others...yes...I am blessed to be alive...yes...I am blessed to have what I have...yes...I am blessed to have what privileges that I do have...but apparently they are far and few between...I guess I should be happy for what I have... Do not get me wrong...I AM happy for what I have...I guess I am being self-ish when I say I wish I had more blessings... However, I do ever-so treasure the ones I have...
This Class...this Intensive...SO much information...SO much to process...
So, what did I learn? Sooo very much. More than I can write here. More than I can begin to say...though it ties into a phone conversation that I had with a very good friend of mine on Saturday that is just now processing...it made sense then...but it is REALLY making sense now...damn bricks...
Pain...struggle...heart ache...etc...it's all relative...no worse...no better...it's all valid...(not that before I was saying that it wasn't or demeaning it-I just looked at it differently)...yes, everyone struggles...everyone has pain...everyone has heartache...everyone hurts...everyone is a victim at one point or another...everyone is discriminated against at some point in time for some reason or another...
Just because someone from a college degree, white collar job, and born into money gets treated unfairly...it does not make it any different than when the lower class, no college degree, unemployed, low income, pierced person is discriminated against. Both are discriminated against. Both are denied access to resources. Both are treated unfairly because of whatever reason. However, discrimination is discrimination is discrimination, and it is unacceptable.
We all have garbage that we deal with, we all have drama, we all have pain, we all have suffering, we all have issues, we all are victims, we all are our own worst enemies, and we are all in our own ways...we just do not see outside out of what is within our view. We need to rise above our 2 dimensional world and see the big picture...everyone is going through the same thing, in their own way, for their own life time. We are NOT human beings having a spiritual experience, we are spiritual beings having a human experience.
What one person can handle and deal with on a daily basis, living in the conditions, being reminded of day by day, constantly figuring out who they are and where they fit in the world; whereas they may become frustrated here and there - that person has learned to cope with it and move fluidly throughout life with it, with minor outbursts. Another person would look at them and say, "I'd go bat shit crazy." and then that person's life could be looked at and measured and another person could say the exact same thing, and the cycle could continue...or the opposite. Yes we can judge and say "I can do better than" or "I would do this" or "....", but unless one has the EXACT set of circumstances, the exact predispositions, the exact genetic traits, the exact everything...one cannot assume anything and must accept complete ignorance to the subject at hand. We can say "I have seen..." and that means "I accept..." or "I acknowledge..." or "I appreciate..." or any other myriad of things; but it does not mean "I am one with..." nor does it mean "I can speak for..."
In the end of the class, sifting through all of the information, the statistics, the labels of all of the groups/sexes/genders/races/classifications/people/etc/... it all boiled down to this...
We all are victims of circumstances of things that we do not choose in our life...we all are oppressed one way or another, by loved ones and/or outsiders...we all are TRYING to seek happiness, in whatever shape it is in our mind...we all have our own privileges and blessings - we just need to open our eyes to see them...we all are are unique and deserve our own unique experiences...we all just want to live and prosper...we all just want to be ourselves...and as I said before...
We are not humans having a spiritual experience...we are spiritual beings having a human experience...
If we keep that in mind as we go through this life as well as what Lillith Grey teaches in her Class, not only can life be so much easier; but those chips on our shoulders are likely to fall off.
Personally, I deal with discrimination on a daily basis, though I never really thought about other's being discriminated against who discriminate against me. Usually, the white, upper-middle class, frumpy, christian, over-done make-up females or uppity, holier-than-thou white males are the ones who judge me and have to make a comment...(and yes, there I did it) I never really thought about them being discriminated against as they discriminate against me. Though, I am sure it probably happens a lot less often as when they say something such as "Wow...you're mom actually let you out of the house with that hair???", or something to the sort...they do not know my story...I don't know theirs, and frankly...I don't care to know their story...and I am sure they do not care to become educated upon mine...so...it is what it is... I can either continue to get upset and rant and rave and possibly explain and/or yell at them for their ignorance, or I can just smile and go on about my daily business unless continuously pestered (which has happened). It all depends upon the situation.
However, the moral of the story is to learn to LIVE AND LET LIVE WHILE APPRECIATING DIFFERENCES.
Everyone in the lifestyle should take this class...and the Program? I DEFINITELY recommend the Austin/Dallas Mentors Program to anyone who is willing and able...you definitely get what you put into it, and much will be learned and experienced.
Brightest blessings.
www. fetlife .com/users/484330/posts/806353
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