In reference of combining all of my journals I wrote through my original #fetlife account which I will post the link at the bottom for the clarifications thereof, I am going to have the transparency brought forward as to what can be seen from the original posting dates as to the current timeframe of this day 28 November 2021 for those to see as to my original #Facebook accounts of Susan MeeLing as well as Lady Dori Belle for the additional ability to see the connection links as to what I had discussed for many years and decades in person as well as online as to such factors as best as I could as to the circumstances. Possibly such details will assist to make sense, in the comparisons thereof as to the amounts of details though in addition I do not pretend or hide myself from my truth which others should realize it is important to be honest and truthful in many more ways than just in one or two moments as it is imperative to be more capable to recognize the truth in such aspects of life for far more than some might have realized despite all of my warnings as to what I knew to bring forward to assist as best as possible.
I will begin with posting my newer updated journals from my original account and work backwards as to the irony I noticed. There will be plenty to read in the ways of, whether or not you choose to venture into the areas of the website fetlife.
Posted on 26 December 2012
Day Eight: 3 Turn Ons...
Day Eight: Three turn-ons...
25 December 2012 (this ended up not being able to finish yesterday, so it is finished 26 December 2012 because of a migraine that stopped me in the middle and would not allow me to get back up until MUCH later in the day...sigh...)
First, Happy Holidays to everyone; whatever your personal spiritual affiliation is; for today is also Odin's Birthday...among other Deities...
I wish all the brightest and the best of blessings; however you all need, want, and desire. I hope all of your highest good comes to the surface and remains past this holiday season, into eternity, for everyone. hugs
Respectfully,
(Reverend) Susan MeeLing/Lady Dori Belle (Name fixed and repaired 29 November 2021 as to the explanations I have given in reference to the situations I was dealing with online as well as in person because of the situations regarding what occurred in reference to McCoy Elementary School and the Fort Worth Zoo as well as the factors as to the law firm as to such parents who had caused the problems to begin with in comparison of taking responsibility for the chocies and actions thereof)
...now...onto the Writing...
So, I mistakenly thought that the Writing from the List of Exercises for Day Seven was going to be a lot easier than I thought it was going to be.
...sigh...
That is what I get for claiming something good before I know what all is going on and what all it entailed.
...because...that Writing turned out to be harder in different ways than I was thinking of...
Knowing what Turns Me Off...yes...that is not a hard list for me to come up with...just as what Turns Me On, is not a hard list for me to come up with...
...however...putting everything into words and describing it all...well...THAT was where I ran into my problems...
...so...no more of that, as best as I can help it...it has ALWAYS been that way; ...where I would proclaim something going and it does not turn out the way I had hoped...I guess...kinda as I had written about the hunches...so...I am going to work on not proclaiming that anything good (or bad) is going to be...
I am just going to hope for the best...try NOT to expect the worst...but try to keep optimism...some...how...maybe someday I can figure out how to bring the better things to my life when I state that I think something is going to be easy/positive/or anything good...
Though, please do not mistake my last ellipse that I wrote for pure pessimism...
I know that I have had good things come to me.
I know that I am blessed in ways.
I know that I deserve greatness.
...however...achieving all of that...well...that seems to be the difficulty...sigh...anyway...
So, without further adue...
Day Eight: Three turn-ons...
Turn On #1.) Seeing...feeling...KNOWING without a doubt...that I am wanted, needed, and desired in every single way...and whatever that person can possible do...they will; just for me... ...and then being SHOWN CONSISTENTLY in every way possible that the person(s) can think of doing and are able to accomplish...
I am not one who will deal with a bratty person...at all...
Friends are definitely one thing.
Relationships with me - that is a whole other ball of wax...
If I have to force someone against their will (which I will not do unless it is punishment time)...
...if I have to "work on convincing" the person that what I want/need/desire is necessary for my happiness in the relationship...if I have to explain my desires beyond reasonable explanation for my sexual gratification - should one be lucky enough to be allowed into that category...if I have to persuade...if I have to whine...if I have to so much as feel as if I am "guilting" someone into pleasing me...
YOU ARE NOT WORTH MY TIME, ENERGY, or ANYTHING ELSE THAT I CAN or WOULD CONSIDER TO OFFER YOU...
The FIRST and FOREMOST WAY of TURNING ME ON is to truly, genuinely, heart-felt, HONESTLY at ALL times is to want me; ...want to be with me - in every single way possible...with as much time as possible to give from me to you and visa versa...; ...NEED to be with me; NEED to please me however I want/need/desire...; AND BE AUTHENTICALLY HAPPY doing so...
If I do not feel the above...I am not able to be turned on in any way, shape, or form...period.
Turn On #2.) Being Clean...
Yes, this was discussed in the previous writing, however, I only spoke of the body...
a.) I am NOT a fan of a dirty house/apartment/condo/townhouse/home dwelling:
If there are used dishes in various rooms - whether or not there is still un-eaten food on it - but of course the latter is worse; if the bathroom is not at least somewhat neat and organized; if (OH MY GODS, THIS IS THE WORST!!!) the toilet seat is up - and there is piss and shit all over the place underneath - or if you have a black line in your bowl - or if there is hair (you know what type) mingling around the base of the porcelain or in the corners or along the tub line or so on ~ that ~ is ~ SO MUCH EWWWWWWW!!!; if you do not ever empty you trash receptacles; if you have several bags full of trash - but instead of taking them to the dumpster - keeping them until "it accumulates enough to warrant the trip to the dumpster"
- I do not care if the dumpster is close or far from your building - that is still GROSS; I am guilty of this - unfortunately - due to my ex-roommate - if there are random chinese food boxes with residual hair from the brushes just lounging about anywhere; if your fridge has Penicillin growing in random containers or if there is that growing ANYWHERE; and so on...
..your house/apartment is gross...and I do not want to have any sexual activity with you...AT ALL...
b.) I am NOT a fan of a messy car:
Random trash in the car and all over the floor boards and seats...is NOT acceptable to pick me up in...and I WILL refuse to get into your vehicle...
c.) I already discussed the body aspects...
So, if you want to turn me on...
If I am to get into your car or even see your car...make sure it is clean...
If I ever allow myself over to your home...MAKE SURE IT IS CLEAN...
If you have gotten to the point to meet me...let alone anything physical with me...MAKE SURE YOU ARE CLEAN!!!
Turn On #3) Someone who is completely enthralled with cunnilingus...in EVERY way, shape, and form...to the point that it is beyond a desire...it IS their fetish...
I do not think that I must go any further on that point...I think #3 is fairly explanatory...
www. fetlife .com/users/484330/posts/1333203
Notations on 29 November 2021
As to the reverse reviewal as to the amount of traveling and work which occurs in reference to my Medal of Honor Art Project trips as well as the situations thereof, there is a difference between a work vehicle and such aspects thereof comparatively especially when taking into considerations as to what I dealt with in reference to the Lodge at Madrona as well as other factors as to the situations as to such an abrupt change as to everything yet again in comparison to people simply being decent human beings and not needlessly causing problems in my life in any such way.
The factors of which as to the amount of how many times such individuals have wrongly felty a desire as to being a part of something as to whatever factors thereof in comparison to actually asking permission as to such factors, I wonder if there are those who can see how the COVID situation is much similar as to the kindergarten aspects as to keep your hands to yourself and cover up your mouth if you are going to sneeze or cough in such ways as to the adults as to such factors as to the possibilities. In additional factors as to the 10 Commandments I wonder at this point how many can see the overall reeducation as to the multitude of aspects, as to certain attributes of which there are differences to when working out of a location in comparison to when having the multitude of such factors as to the ease of having other situations more readily able to assist in the comparisons thereof as I knew back then when I posted my journal on the website.
However in reference as to the similarities as to the aspects as to the clean car situation as to the factors in reference to working out of my apartment and doing what I can as to such aspects as to the amount of work I have done on my own without assistance even though I have requested assistance, of which requires the aspects as to actually speaking with me as to what I would actually need in the comparisons as to how much I have already dealt with. The situations as to the after effects from my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury after effects of which as I repeatedly told people as to what importances thereof were for me, the lack of capability for such people as to throughout the years to simply believe there actually could and would be someone who could only always tell the truth has astounded me as to the factors of wondering as to how much those people must lie on a continuous basis as to constantly be looking over their shoulders as to such factors thereof in the comparisons.
In the realistic portions as to my personal workspace as to where my computer is wherever so, that is my work desk area and will be kept and maintained as to a workspace area which I did not think it would take a head injury to figure out as to is everyone else's workspace area 100% in complete organization at all times or when getting into multiple projects all at once and taking care of multiple factors are there situations of which there is an organization to the work area for those who actually know what is needed in the comparisons as to those who assume they know what to do?
The ways of which as to the exemption factors of knowing intellectually of such aspects in the comparisons as to what I guesstimate were assumptions by others in comparisons to ever taking the time to think as to such common sense factors, as to what I actually knew of such references. Then there are the realities of which such references as to how such types of individuals throughout the years who could have actually helped and assisted when actually directly involved with my life, and then the problems I dealt with when those people did not do anything that was actually helpful or beneficial as to such aspects as to what was needed as to such points in time as to as many individuals constantly had tested me without any reason or excuse or cause in any such way and nothing more than the Taylor Swift song as to such types of people just being mean for only the aspects because they could be in comparisons and then the situations thereof as to such types of people as to those situations which cannot be undone as to such situations as to the aspects throughout the times as to the technological aspects thereof as to the amount of transmissions over the decades as to such factors.
Why would such beings as to the factors want to meet with such people who have yet to ever actually recognize me as myself, in such references? I did not think that took a head injury to figure out, either.
However in such regards as to the ways of which the house I created to be a home was perfectly content as to such aspects, until the problems associated with that Homeowner Association supporter type in the comparisons of ever seeing my rights as to owning my own house as I do not know what town I stepped into for the ways of which the situations were as to those types of people in Carrollton Texas were straight out of the type of which the proof a to a female earning on their own as to such aspects thereof to such types of individuals from the neighborhood as through to the school as to the businesses thereof. Ironically when I brought up the fact of the Mosque nearby, I was the one who was told I was overreacting as to the concern of the homegrown terrorists in the area nearby Dallas Texas when in the years of 2008 into 2010 as well as in the year of 2011 into 2012, though no one saw what I had referred to and each clamed I was being overtly sensitive to the fact I was born and raised in New Jersey and grew up going to New York City and Pittsburg as well as Philadelphia for the larger areas of Pennsylvania as a child and teenager though additionally Lancaster Pennsylvania.
What was it that occurred when I was in Washington state about a clock in Irving, and what was it I recall a news report as to downtown Dallas a few years after I wound up in Washington state?
I am sure some could say it was just a coinky dink as to such factors, in comparison to the reality I had made such comments as to my concern about such situations thereof. Similarly as to the comments as I would guesstimate as to the factors in reference to my nightmare when I was in second grade, as maybe at some point there will actually be enough proof as to people actually believing in me and the facts as to only being capable to speaking and writing the truth in the specific genres thereof. What was it that occurred at Fort Hood, as well? Oh, another coinky dink I am sure as to what some might wish as to such factors just as similarly as to how there are Military City USA signs around San Antonio Texas and Graham Central Station is closed down as to the largest amount of problems as to the stolen valor situations after the Uniform Fetish Ball aspects I had taken care of as to the evening before telling others as to the situations thereof as to my concern as to latter posts in reference to my journal blog entries after the years of 2004 into 2012... or apparently 2013 as to the Stoney LaRue concert as to the claim apparently as to graduating Officer Basic Training school at Lackland Air Force Base as I was told by the individual in reference to how my son and I wound up in Washington state after the aspects of the ironies as to the SCUBA Diving pictures from my National Geographic Open Water SCUBA Diving certification shortly after both the San Antonio Express News Article as well as the semi-truck news interview as to such points in time as to them both not getting the entire story as to the details thereof as to the problems with instant gratification such as participation trophies.
Why did I get made fun of for not considering myself a soldier in the Army Basic Training though acknowledging I had taken the Marine Corps view as to only being able to consider myself a soldier if I officially graduated Basic Training, as why would that be of importance to earning as to one's own work as to such factors as why would that be considered of importance in the realistic portions thereof?
However in such references as to such situations while my hair color and my hairstyle might not be for everyone else, it is what I have needed for myself and was not ever anything of offense on purpose in the comparisons as to other people as to their choices of their actions of which they need to take responsibility for; which the same in reference as to my tattoos as unlike some people, I do not force others to have to deal with such factors in comparison to what has been in reference to what I have dealt with.
I would believe there was actual chivalry in the world, if I actually saw it on a consistent basis just as I would believe there was actual importance to such as I have done if that actually would be brought forward in such a way which would be something I could actually believe in as to the realities of such situations referencing the ways which others having recognized as to such factors. There is a difference in caring about the feelings and the opinions thereof, in comparison to the respect aspects.
That is the swiftest and quickest turn off to me in all honesty, when there is the lack of respect as per the ways I am about etiquette as the reality of such aspects is an automatic in such references.
My choice not to bring such up earlier, why would it matter as to such ways as it has been?
In reference as to the semi-truck situation, did anyone ever have the idea to bring the importance of such forward to me as to the reality of the matter? Or did people just simply decide to bury their proverbial heads into the proverbial sand, in such references as to all of the individuals I told about before ever putting it into writing?
I did not think it took a head injury to figure out if there was any other aspect of the voice mail as to other than saying thank you to me as to such aspects, why would I ever think of such in the references thereof? What assumptions were made as to such factors, and why would it be important to actually get the truth as to such as has there ever been any situation which the news reporters did not go over as much of the details as possible in the comparisons or is the San Antonio Express News Article as well as the news reporter at the semi-truck scene who did not give the time for any answering in full of the question before she had the camera male turn off the camera as she walked away in comparison as to whatever she was looking to get as to the news report compared to the truth?
I did not graduate Basic Training and thus would that not be considered falsely awarding valor in such references as to giving credit to the Army in comparison where the credit actually was due as to my choices as to my work on that evening as to my biological father as to learning what to do and learning what not to do as to the New Jersey Turnpike situation in the 1990s as I dealt with the conversation at the house after the toll booth after leaning over the area of the shifter to inform the toll booth operator of the black car which had spun out of control after it hit the side of the semi-truck and flipped over and skidded across the New Jersey Turnpike or did no one else think about that fact either? I did not know the individual in the black sports car which was racing a red sports car on the New Jersey Turnpike the night of taking Anna my biological mother to the airport, though I saw the collision and the sparks on the road of which I made the attempts to get help for the driver and possibly passenger of the vehicle as best as I could despite what I dealt with at the time.
Though similarly to how few paid attention to my warnings in New Jersey by that time in the 1990s as to the technological aspects as to the similarities as to the state of Illinois and the state of Texas, where I could I did make the attempt to get the driver and possible passenger the emergency help at the toll booth though I look much different now than I did back then.
I remember it was a shiny black two door car with sharper details similar though far more expensive than a Mustang 5.0 style with silver rims, and tinted windows. I recall the red car was a rounder shaped vehicle as to the comparisons of a Porsche Carerra style of vehicle, though the red in comparison to the yellow as to the ways which I saw the blood splatter as to when the collision occurred in vision compared to the few moments later when the collision actually happened as there was only so much I could think of to do as my biological father said it was their choice to drive as such and they would get what they deserved in comparison to viewing life in a more positive way.
Nonetheless, I have been capable to see multiple sides and angles as to such different situations and do the best I can to remain as unbiased as possible while acknowledging where my biases are as to such aspects. Within the years of 2009 through 2013 however, there are importances to remember as to my postings online as to the facts in reference to my SCUBA Diving situations as to the bottom of the oceanic waters and the choices others made as while they could have asked me in person as to such points in time in comparison to the ways which occurrences were; the same in regards as to the Irving situation, of which I had already brought forward such other details before when in the Austin Texas area before moving to Irving Texas in the year of 2011.
It is I suppose, what it is.
I have made the attempts I have best possible could make, I cannot speak or write as to if such a minimum as to standards thereof as to the aspects as to what others view as minimalism compared to my view of minimalism. However in such references thereof as to my attempts, I would think would give enough of a view as to what I consider as minimalistic in such references in the comparisons thereof for a multitude of factors as to what I consider as minimalist in the comparisons as to what others' perceptions thereof are as to such aspects instead. Though I believe my journals and my journal blog, may have enough to proverbial speak for itself as to what my actual view of minimalism is compared to the possible hypothetical assumptions from others as to what their differences are in all such comparisons thereof.
For example, my minimum standard for myself to complete 100 SCUBA Dives before book a trip to SCUBA Dive in the oceanic waters should give a good enough minimum standard of my personal viewpoint or possibly the fact of earning my 26 SCUBA Diving certifications as my minimum for my work might additionally be an example as to what I view as minimal as to the aspects thereof as well as the reasons as to such aspects might be capable to be seen as to the reasons why as to such a view as to the minimal aspects thereof.
Comments