Acknowledging

I have a tendency to admit if I am incorrect about various portions for many reasons which in turn means having to come to terms with accepting the reality in areas where I was incorrect to be able to step forward in different aspects, which in turn certain aspects mean dealing with the facts.

As I was informed in 2019 and 2020 of situations which occurred years prior to my return to the state of #Texas of occurrences in the #Austin Texas area after how both my minor son and I wound up in Washington state as well as after I had written and published several books, and began my #MedalofHonorArtProject. While there is the fact none told me anything I wrote about or did had anything to do with any situations which occurred in Austin Texas area of the lifestyle, there is the facts of which after getting out of the area which I was being zapped each second of each minute of each hour of each day or each week of each month of each years I was above the Mason-Dixon Line when above the literal dividing line; which after returning to the state of Texas having realized there were those I once knew, who had been in Washington state where I was though did not acknowledge they knew me as me. Instead of remembering about the facts and reality I explained about the after effects from my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury as I told several years ago, I know for a fact of a minimum of several individuals from specific groups who had not said they knew me from whichever area once known while I guesstimate assuming I would automatically remember without the prompting to remember on the spot when being in the area and in front of who at the time I spoke with and where.

Thus back in 2004 when dealing with the first separation from who I am a legal widow of and again I was in a different area of the city and had not spoken with the individual in two days, the situation when I was outed for being involved with the #BDSM lifestyle in turn meant dealing with certain repercussions. I defended the lifestyle and those within despite not knowing each I had met over the years and each involved within the lifestyle overall as I knew and accepted each consenting adult has the right to choose what a consenting relationship would be upon the terms of agreements arranged within the situation and relationship. As I defended myself for my views point, my stance, my beliefs, consenting adults' rights to choose, and etcetera as I dealt with the yelling and barrage of insults as well as the violent responses to defend such rights for consenting adults; it was not until much later is when I was to learn of the group which I had fought ironically just as much to not be a part of regarding the #JadeWolfeCoven specifically Christy, had been who had outed my involvement in the lifestyle. While the female Christy or Christine from #Abilene Texas who was married at the time to a former Air Force mechanic named Mike with two daughters and one young son who I met earlier the year of 2004 with Jamie who was married to a male named Steven and had a child or two together; who had been who started the Jade Wolfe Coven based on the book series of the #GreenWitchcraft though had not actually read the books themselves had been who outed each minimal at those times of details, the least of my concerns had been to speak with the group who I had not wanted to be a part of and who had proven why I did not want to be a part of the coven before how that began. The irony of yes as much as I dealt with for being outed being involved in the lifestyle, is what I dealt with to stand my ground as to not be a part of the Jade Wolfe Coven out from #Seguin Texas. A different oddity of the #AirForce mechanic situation regarding how I wound up in Washington state when taking into consideration Christy who had not been in the Air Force though married to someone in the Air Force branch of the #ArmedForces of the military of the United States of America, when adding she refused to learn anything about the Air Force or the Armed Forces of the #UnitedStatesofAmerica because as she claimed of her hatred of what the military branches stood for. You know, such a freedoms and rights is literally what was explained as to what she was against in reference to. However Christy would most likely not have researched the portions of the training sectors nor learned about such as those who have a bit of pride about their spouse's connection to the Armed Forces after getting involved with, as per her own descriptions as to when she met Mike and the two of them began their relationship.

That female actually defended the radicalized Muslims to me in comparison to defending the guys who were defending the United States of America's citizens and land to prevent such as she had defended those who had attacked the United States of America on 11 September 2001, which her belief was it was deserved in her opinion because she lived in Texas and did not get to go to #NewYorkCity. Christy in the house her then husband owned had explained she felt those who were impacted by the events of 11 September 2001 deserved to go through everything and she reveled in the chaos which had been dealt with, which as per those who know how I am whether through reading what I have written and/or having the personal experience of when I felt the need to clearly stand up beyond what some would consider as normal or lady like; I stood up in defense of those who were impacted from that portion and warned her to change her outlook upon the individuals who were impacted because of, and find compassion for them compared to how her jealousy and envy of those who could make it living in such locations despite the circumstances and were able to survive had caused such a dead heart within her. I could not understand how anyone could ever be a part of the United States of America as well as have a spouse who once was a part of the Armed Forces for the United States of America could say as Christy had, 'they deserved it'. I gave many examples of groups of individuals who aside from the people within the immediate areas of #NewYork, #NewJersey, #Pennsylvania, and the #WashingtonDC area who were impacted such as the airport employees and those who were rushed into the areas of the airports; in my attempt to show a different angle while also bringing up there were children who had nothing to do with such except were living in the areas nearby, which she had not the slightest bit of concern as she said 'because it didn't happen to her or her children'.

I remember standing in the kitchen with the feeling of the linoleum floor beneath my feet looking at the beige or almond-ish colored counter and medium shade of brown wooden cabinets prior to looking toward the doorway which lead to the backyard to say, "It should not have to happen to your children for you to care, or have concern."

Her choice to defend her Satanic views which were nothing more than the perceived and proven narcissistic tendencies from Christy, as she did not describe what I thought of when considering the beliefs system of those who prefer the visualization of the aspect of feeling a deeper connection to such a physical representation because of how their life experiences shaped their view of what could be as well as what would keep their attention for the focus upon to find their own spiritual paths. I knew it was a section which had been misrepresented as the equivalent to such in a feminine form would be the view of Kali Ma compared to those who follow the path of as to the ease of comparison seeing the Buddhist view in regards of both Buddha as well as Kuan Yin for the opposite portion, in a different comparison for the multifaceted aspects to the reality of Divinity. The claim which came from Christy had been she wished she could have #AntonLeVey's children just as she wished she could have #MichaelMoore's children, which admittedly she was offended by my words when I told her "Anton LeVey would not find you remotely attractive as his particular tastes for females, you do not fit within. I doubt there are not people who could look at you and say you have some physical traits which could be considered as appropriate to his liking, though the rest of who you are he would be disgusted by as well as your lack of responsible behaviour would drive him up the wall. Anton LeVey could not be tempted by simple pleasures of the flesh in the same manner as some such as yourself and the seriousness he had taken in regards of his particular studies, would and has left you behind in the dust for not opening your eyes to see between the lines. Michael Moore by the way probably has more options than you have had partners, and he would not touch you with a ten foot pole if he had the chance."

Apparently she considered my responses to be harsh, and apparently she was offended. Maybe some who I have had discussions with and possibly offended by my choice of wording thinking I was being mean with my words might rethink my wording as mean in comparison, as I continued onward for awhile as those who have met me would know; and the continued portions as to the multitude of reasons why in my opinion both Anton LeVey as well as Michael Moore would look at Christy with disgust, as well as be upset of influencing such a response. I was told by Christy of how mean I was before her trying to tell me of how she had written and completed multiple rituals of what she called 'A Mother F****r of a Curse', which I warned her against. She laughed at me telling me she would tell people about what she wrote and she was surprised I was not intimidated by her words, and she asked me how I could not feel threatened by her. Initially at the discussion I had tried explaining the background of work and studies I have completed over the years up to that point in 2004, though I simply stopped explaining to a feeble individual who only sought power in comparison to knowing and understanding how to utilize power in the proper and correct ways. I warned her with the power of certain aspects, there are choices which have to be made with clarity. I warned her of using what she wrote up too often because if she chose to continue on the path she was on, the consequences would be dire.

After she finished laughing at my statements she then told me she would complete her curse to then stalk the individuals she had used such online, would send people to mess with their lives she knew through using her sex to accomplish such through those types of manipulations, and then tried to claim because she was a female there would be people who would defend her from ever having to receive the death penalty. I responded informing her that physical beauty and the view of what is changes constantly, her sex could only be worthwhile for so long if she chose to be the continuation of the way she was portraying, people would pick up on the fact she was using what was between her legs and/or her mouth to manipulate individuals to do as she wanted, and the death penalty was at a point where it did not matter what gender the individual is; the reality of knowing certain crimes require certain penalties, and the lack of people who would stand up for a situation in such a way would be more common compared to those who would eventually begin to realize the correct reasons to stand up in defiance against evil such as she was describing herself to be. She laughed at me a bit more saying if Anton LeVey were alive today how he would look into her eyes and see how much she cared, as well as all she would have to do is bat her eyes looking at him in the way she had practiced to look at males; and she actually thought Anton LeVey would fall in love with her because of her feelings, he would pick up. I informed her if there were people who knew him when he was alive, he would be described similarly to as I had described as well as his particular tastes in females; not forgetting the fact he cared as a father for his children, whereas the same could not be said about how she treated her children.

His children may not have seen what he was seeing at the times of initially, though he knew they would begin to see what he was pointing out to them when the time for them was correct. The specific pages of certain books which he would read only the specific words for such, were and are important for his children to remember. Despite the way the physical aspects of the religion he had brought forward had been in such times and the view of was known back then, which he knew how his children would respond as a caring parent would know. To ensure his children knew, the specific oddities were clues for them when they needed a quick boost to assist seeing more clearly. Despite how some portray the aspects of in ways to wish to skirt responsibility, there are those would be able to explain the opposite reality for such. I admit that particular paragraph is for them, as there are times admittedly which the mediumship portion comes through for purposes and reasons. One specifically was read a specific book on different page numbers which the others were not, who would be able to recall the specific lines read at the times of. "This page pertains to you to remember..." might ring a bell, and what part of the picture was pointed to for other books in comparison to the words read after or before seeing the pictures.

Nonetheless that same female had been the first person who officially outed me in a direct way, knowing what I was dealing with at the time and why I had to get my own place to live for the safest outcome and best overall at the time as well as in the long term into the longest term. It was laughed at when I told her of what I dealt with afterwards which to the levels of were not known to others to the depths of, however her claim of her curse had been nothing more than smoke and mirrors since her choice to become directly involved compared to the energetic portions going as would from one who would have such actual and real powers; could be nowhere within the immediate area for the effects of the energetic portions to reach to, and would prove such strength and powers which would confound even the most adept studious individual as to the abilities from one singular individual. I was laughed at because of what was customarily done in those regards which in turn looking back upon seems to be the equivalent of females who have only meanness in their thoughts who thought an idea to continue their meanness would be to get involved with something which looked scary, though those who have a deeper understanding of would be able to see the beauty from the murkiness and muck of the situations. I did not last long in the Jade Wolfe Coven as a satellite sister because of several other portions, though ironically having been outed was not the defining factor. Though yes I dealt with what I dealt with for being outed as instead of feeling linoleum beneath my feet, I felt the cold tile from on the floor as well as from the table at the time in conjunction later in the conversation as to the feeling of the refrigerator in a different way.

Though I made my house and my garden as best as I could, there were obviously the worst of times within such areas because of the aspects I dealt with throughout to keep both my son and my daughter also a few other situations which I could not disclose at the times to bring around as best as I could safety as best as possible; which were most likely not realized until many years later, by those who were not in the know of such information previously. Specifically to such details referencing to 11 September 2001 as well as what occurred prior to the times after in certain ways were not as detailed discussed at the times even in certain ways to now, because quite simply there were other aspects which had to have and needed the attention. In turn having been outed for the first time back in 2004 and still pursuing such at the times as I knew not everyone was as described and the ironies of the threats from who I am a widow of now saying I would be assaulted in multiple ways and attacked, at the time seemed to be weird as I dealt with the conversation defending the lifestyle. How could I see such as weird or off at the time, when taking such into consideration?

However as time as gone onward the irony of the aspects I defended against the misunderstanding of various aspects just as I defended against his views of the #LGBTQP #LGBT #LGBTQ communities when making a comment of real possibilities for some, I dealt with what I dealt with in such circumstances. Personally for my opinion back then and now it did not matter in the slightest to me whether my son and/or my daughter was hetero-sexual, homo-sexual, hetero-flexible, homo-flexible, cross dresser, or whatever combination thereof so long as they were healthy and safe while being happy in their lives in whichever way in that aspect brought them to such a relationship for such. Similar to the conversation from when I had been outed in conjunction with prior conversations I dealt with, I stood my ground. While admittedly when looking back I can see both the good and the bad as well as the indifferent portions, however having to come to the point of admitting the reality of such attacks and assaults which in turn proves those points to such an individual is something I have not wanted to have to acknowledge. Yet, here I am writing such.

I was told while dealing with such at those times of how I would be lied to, which again taking into consideration what I was dealing with; I had not the ability to believe such as how or why, in comparison to what and who I was dealing with at those times? I was told in such a conversation of how my after effects would be used against me by an individual who was using my after effects from my head injury against me, which again could be seen as confusing to anyone; I would think, at minimum. After several other conversations throughout the time of the first separation including where I had been left unconscious outside in the backyard for hours in the summertime in my backyard in San Antonio Texas around the month of May or June or July 2005 about a different topic for the conversation at the time, also taking into consideration the yo-yo effect whenever I would go do something after being told to leave alone; to then deal with the pulling back because of not getting the attention sought after, also was a misleading aspect because of the portions which were pointed out in various discussions and conversations. When at the level of a conversation, had been the most confusing points of discussions to me ironically and mainly because exactly as was being done to me by such was being complained about by such about other people in regards of both the individual as well as the group settings later on.

With certain situations as such has occurred I admit I do not like the fact I have to admit certain accuracy which in turn for this particular portion while I hope there were aspects which I was correct and not everything was as bad as was claimed back then, at the same time I feel as though I can wish as much as I would like in other circumstances.

What could be a silver lining to such in an overall sort of way, I wonder. I suppose a silver lining can be I survived and continued living on, while a different silver lining is learning from the lessons of to pay attention despite certain circumstances. One larger silver lining in a different time from such though in line along a different pathway at the years of is, I went through the courses to learn #SCUBA Diving and earned 26 #SCUBADiving certifications. SCUBA is an acronym for Self-Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus. I suppose I can make a joke while finding the silver lining(s) of as I contained myself under pressure to maintain my breathing, situations aside and what what able to be utilized as whichever aspects to review which apparatuses would have been within reach. I suppose there are times when it does take a head injury to figure certain aspects out, and since I survived what I survived I suppose I would know.

A picture using photoshop of me in 2004, before my hairstyle now