24/23 Day Countdown to 11 September 2001 memorial as per cognitive disorder from a New Jersey-ian

As I have acknowledged the fact as to the after effects from my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury and coma with the subarachnoid hemorrhage which took 4.5 years to begin to dissipate from the #CAT CAT and #MRI MRI scans which I deal with daily headaches, several times per week migraines, cognitive disorders, memory deficits, and I went from College Algebra with Trigonometry and Calculus in High School as well as having been in Community College which the arithmetic level was in College Level II Geometry; going to 2nd grade mathematic levels after waking up from my coma, I admit as to the miscalculation as to the amount of days to the memorial for the 20 years from 11 September 2001 as per the title of this particular journal blog entry. Around the year of 2012 I wrote an entry in my fetlife account called 50 Shades of Bullshit, which I had written about various aspects as to what I had been dealing with well beforehand to the posting; however in reference to the entry in my fetlife account @LadyDoriBelle #LadyDoriBelle on #fetlife fetlife, I wrote about the problems I was dealing with due to the book series called 50 Shades of Grey unknowing as to how long that series had already been out. I had not known as to how popular the book series had become, though because of additional problems I was already dealing with at the time up to that point in 2012 when finding out about the book series and putting together other situations which had compiled on top of what I was already dealing with; the entry occurred as per my writing and then later in 2013 I had been able to have a publication on the webpage #Leatheratti Leatheratti after posting such on fetlife in reference to submissive males and Dominant Females to which was in an addition to what I was dealing with in other aspects as well. As I have clarified a multitude of situations which I was dealing with in my life overall at such times as well as leading up to such times since getting more time to be able to work on my website as well as my Medal of Honor Art Project while also going to #Republican Republican and #POTUS45 Pro-Trump rallies in the year of 2020 in conjunction to publishing several books during such times from later within the year of 2019 through to 2020 and into 2021 as to the updates regarding a multitude of situations overall, in this particular entry the portions as to what occurred in my life as to what in addition to those multitude of situations has been able to be updated to a degree.

However in reference to the 50 Shades of Bullshit posting I wrote, that particular aspect needed the clarifications I have made before being able to go into such details in such references because of the other aspects involved regarding those who I once knew in person in a multitude of ways. Why would I go into such details prior to getting to the point of the 50 Shades of Bullshit in reference to the 50 Shades of Grey book series, one might wonder? Realistically because all such situations were required to go through prior to getting to the explanations in a fuller context due to the other additional portions well beyond such points in time, as per having grown up after being born in #NewJersey #NJ New Jersey and going around the areas where I had as a child and a teenager the clarifications were required for such individuals out of respect for what once was over such years. While the truth can be ugly in such references, the truth also clarifies in a multitude of aspects for such individuals for which only someone with a clear thought process albeit scattered would and could be able to do because of such connected portions. I admit I had not read the 50 Shades of Grey series because I do not read such fiction books despite having written several fiction as well as non-fiction books myself, well after having already written as much as I already had up to such a point prior to the self-published books over the years. While my official first full attempt to having a book published had been in 2011 as I explained in my website postings, it was not until 2014 as to having actually fully gone through with the aspects as to the self-publishing because of differences in opinions regarding the title of my initial book of the autobiography. I chose to pick the name of #Red Red because of the fact of my red hair color as well as the known portions as to the red color in a stoplight and the meaning thereof, as the problems which were occurring in reference to what I had brought forward were needing to stop the cycles of patterns of behaviours seen within such portions thereof. The #TyePublishing Tye Publishing groups refused to budge regarding the problems I felt were needing such a title regarding such and thus because of such differences in opinion when the 6 months passed regarding the contract which was agreed to for such publishing, they relinquished their legal rights to such publishing as per their contract they sent me.

In turn when it came time to publish my books as I chose and after such situations thereof combined in reference to 2014, I chose to go through #Amazon Amazon because of not wanting or needing to deal with the hassles of such a small portion referencing the title of the name of my book. I was not willing to go through other portions of their options as I had read through the contract and because of the need for such portions to be taken care of correctly as I saw such requirements, I was not willing to deal with a multitude of other portions knowing how many books I was going to be working on and was working on at such times. Due to the complexities of all such portions and knowing they would wish I would go through different aspects and break such down in different ways, I refused to put myself through any unnecessary additional stresses as per the electrical portions I was already dealing with while being in Washington state and refused to allow such other problems as I knew would be because of how such had gone referencing the publishing company. Cutting out the middle man in the proverbial sense as because of the aspects and ease of #AmazonKDP Amazon's KDP services, such lack of requirements and lack of needs regarding such stresses already dealt with up to such points; I refused to deal with anyone ever restricting my works because of what I knew was best to begin with, and because I knew what was best to begin with and knew the type of people such would wish would think to be acceptable for my works; I refused to compromise any further than I already had in various aspects. I had already been through enough and did not need anything further regarding such stresses, though of course not realizing how petty and how childish some adults would or could be in such going around the middle man so to write which in turn the ability to clarify such on my website means the ability to explain without having t deal with the proverbial middle man yet again referencing such aspects. The rights to my works are only my rights and the portions thereof because of such additional problems, I refused to allow to occur any further.

Thus because of the additional aspects as per what was supposed to be my royalty checks and what I was going to choose to do with what was supposed to be my financial choices from the work I did, I refused to allow such problems to continue any further additionally as I was not willing to put those who I once knew in any types of dangers as best as I could; despite how certain situations had already gone up to such points thereof. While I would not be surprised if such individuals from the Tye Publishing group could have thrown a temper tantrum about such portions, that was and is not my problem as it is for those individuals to deal with the karmic repercussions referencing such aspects thereof for such hypotheticals especially in reference to my Medal of Honor Art Project aspects already having been explained in such portions thereof. They had tied themselves to such aspects, and thus they should figure out how to untie or untangle themselves on their own in my opinion if capable in truth in genuinity for such untying portions. Since I also knew the regards as to the needless drama which such a portion as to my book series referencing The Paroxysm of the Lotus Books Series By: Susan MeeLing I had registered with the #LibraryofCongress #LOC Library of Congress using my legal first and legal middle name in the title and the portions as to the legalities in reference to the anti slavery laws as well as my Constitutional Rights which I earned for myself on my own, in turn I also knew such possibilities as to the wishes to ever legally purchase such if ever was a possibility would need to be clarified as to such portions for such the requirement of the individuals and/or company involved if ever done so as per the Superman comic book legal references thereof because of my legal first and my legal middle name; whether or not the individual and/or company would wish to do so, however seeing how such portions were illegally released referencing such to which the portions as the unnecessary damages and problems thereof due to the 50 Shades of Bullshit book series posting on fetlife. In turn the legal as well as the karmic repercussions could hypothetically add up to a portion to which such an individual and/or company would be forced to make an offer as per the legalities thereof for such problems needlessly added to my son who was a minor when such occurrences occurred, the same in reference to my daughter who is one year two weeks and two days younger than my son in such references, as well as the requirements in reference to myself as per the #ADA ADA as well as other such legalities which in such references to the Tye Publishing would have known as per the portions of my autobiography referencing all such aspects.

It is not my problem if the individual and/or company had not known about the reference aspects regarding the 50 Shades of Bullshit posting however also knowing how some companies prefer to stir up drama, my lack of requirement and my lack of need for drama in my life I additionally was unwilling to deal with such portions referencing their additional aspects having already dealt with. While some might think such to be preferable, that is not what I prefer and in turn the portions of cutting such chords referencing such with the prior entries was a way to destroy all such regards as to the #50Shades 50 Shades of Grey series as well as the clarifications for such portions regarding the posting in reference to the 50 Shades of Bullshit aspects. While I did not think anyone would go as far as the levels as to what occurred in reference to the rallies in reference to the year of 2020 and the same in reference to the transfer processes, I would guesstimate the questions which went to most likely my biological mother and my biological sister first were of which they would assume they could predict my courses of action; which in turn my biological father and my son would be the ones who hypothetically did what they possibly could to deter such, informing whomever that would cause needless additional pain in ways which I would not tolerate such additional pain well and thus the situations if such are accurate I suppose you are able to look through my website in reference to The Ornery PSA for such references thereof in addition to the clarifications. I would additionally guesstimate as to the aspects of contacting my daughter as well as my ex-in-laws which would have less ability to clarify with the exception of most likely my ex-sister-in-law Susie Marie Nichols-Lopez though now with a different legal last name than the Nichols-Lopez as per Sweetie or Sweeney who would have warned against such aspects as per knowing how infuriated I would be in such references as well as possibly my ex-brother-in-law Tony Walker Nichols and his wife warning against such as per knowing a bit more in depth; in comparison to my ex-sister-in-law Mary Evongelina Nichols Osteen who would love such over drama garbage as per the ways as to which she had been as the few times I had met her and seen how she had been with her daughters as to how she egged other situations on needlessly to begin with during the first initial meeting as well as other few such times. In reference to Gail's daughters and son most likely I would think it would be a mixed portions where Tori would probably be involved more-so than Amber and the aspects as to Gail's son would be more interested in such references as to the adult portions, which I would guesstimate the females regarding my ex-sisters-in-law would be of a similar mix in such references and the same regarding Susie's son Joseph which I could see where he would have been more in line with Amber in comparison.

I would guesstimate in reference to various individuals I had once known in the adult consenting lifestyle the recommendations would have similarly been mixed as per the ways such times had been which in turn the reasons as to such clarifications required as per knowing such dramas which certain publishers tend to draw up for the publicity and wanting to keep such individuals within certain boxes as per the ways which I guesstimate such would have gone in regards of the different topic points of the various books I wrote, which in turn in order to be able to give such leeway referencing such aspects as to knowing the ability for other such abilities regarding other ways such individuals could find more for themselves instead of only being in one or two proverbial boxes as per prior postings in reference to such aspects; the requirements I saw in reference to such clarifications, because of knowing there is far more to people than what meets the eyes in reference to when initially looking into someone or some groups, which instead of tearing such down to leave in shambles, I believe in life and the betterment thereof. I also do not believe in limiting people needlessly because of certain aspects as to one or two portions to which in turn with the ability for the ways to self reflect as well as to self examine other portions before examining and while examining other aspects thereof, the ability to take such proverbial crumblings to sweep together for proverbial rocks to add in a proverbial mixture for a stronger foundational aspect to be able to mix with the metaphorical aspects as to the sand as well as other such composites for the mixture to make a different path and a different way to show others which ways are more important in comparison to the dramatic theater portions as to what truly matters. While unconventional in such ways admittedly, those who have successfully gone through Basic Training in the #USA #USAArmedForces #USAAF #USAF #USArmedForces United States of America's Armed Forces can see a metaphorical or proverbial drawn out in time length to what is more condensed in other such ways as to Basic Training as well as AIT in such aspects though in a more personal way as per the timeframe and the timeline of in ways which though difficult when having to look within such aspects of oneself; how else to truthfully look within oneself if such portions gone over were truthfully as seen in such visionary aspects, to be able to work through in truth in comparison of such aspects thereof?

While I do believe there are scientific medical applications which are beneficial when it is needed and required, I also have explained as to how I believe there has been an over usage as to the medication portions within the overall aspects as to the medications prescribed for various mental health aspects and I have believed such portions have been due to the medications clouding up the thought processes to such truths. While I do believe there are medications when having gone through in truth of such portions as to how such can be beneficial, I also believe as I have explained as to the requirements to actually go within the regards as to such situations in truth before looking to the medication aspects as per the problems which have occurred in reference to the chemical dependency aspects. In addition to the portions of knowing more people have had an array of combined situations as well as the amount of chemicals in reference to the medications aspects, the ways which to go over such portions in a different way in my opinion was needed especially after the explanations as to how the situations occurred regarding when meeting with then Governor Christine Todd Whitman when I was in 8th grade to which such portions of which I had already expressed such concerns regarding such aspects; I knew there was a need to be able to figure out ways to which such truths could be reviewed in ways which would be more gentle as possible, in comparison to only going into name calling or only going into the over dramatic portions. Hopefully such aspects has been considerably more compassionate in comparison despite having to go over such realities, which in such regards while some other portions might be considerably difficult in certain ways to go into for individuals at minimum hopefully such has been a way of actually facing such aspects in comparison to pushing such underneath a metaphorical rug; while at the same time of seeing more positive possibilities in other such references regarding such portions as to looking towards a more positive future in comparison to the dreariness of which some have felt the burdens of over certain aspects, as with the ability to hopefully find better ways to reform the thought processes while also acknowledging what truthfully needs to be looked into in other such ways.

I am not the most normal when it comes to my thought processes and the ways which my thoughts can go as I have admitted as well as the ways which the one particular #Neurologist Neurologist I had when I was at Scott-White Baylor for appointments had best explained to me for my ability to explain to others, regarding how my thoughts are not in the linear aspects in ways which most have such linear thoughts. Instead of the portions of the normal linear counting aspects of 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10 as well as the normal alphabetical portions regarding when organizing a library of A through Z and yes the pun intended in reference to the Amazon portions thereof; as per the explanation from the female doctor who had worked at a military installation with the different soldiers as she had told me about in such ways of my thoughts going from 1 to 9,596,795 to the letter O then A and then counting onward to the number 2 and so on and so forth while moving along such pathways as per the neuro-receptors thereof. I suppose the possibility to see such more officially in reference to such aspects can be noticed within not only my writing within individual postings, though also in reference to those who have survived head injuries or also now more known as #TBI TBI situations. In turn I would guess some who have had a head injury or a TBI would be able to see such portions within themselves and see such as more normal for such aspects thereof which especially in reference to how I am about the Armed Forces of the United States of America as having already explained other aspects, in turn showing such portions in truth more fully being able to bring such to light for them to see they are not alone in such regards as to the various frustrations thereof while also showing those who have not had a head injury or a TBI in reference to their brothers and sisters who have survived such there are more positive ways which to look into such aspects to see there is a way which each takes on their own journey within life. While certain civilians have had the most difficult time seeing such truths because of the lack of exposure to such realities and many within and connected to the Armed Forces of the United States of America directly as well as prior portions as to the Vietnam War as to wishes some had in regards to what has been known as shell shock, the portions thereof referencing such head injury or TBI portions can be noticed in such references.

While I once knew a male who was called JP in the ClubFEM group who had refused to acknowledge such portions of such in combination with others who had wished such aspects were not truthful, the realities as to the civilian aspect or if connected to the Armed Forces of the United States of America were more along the dependent s thereof and/or if directly connected most likely within the terminology of what is more commonly known as a POG. While technically my MOS would have been within the POG style, because of what I had said I wanted to do in reference to my particular military career as well as in conjunction with my clearance level at the age of 17 years old, adding what I had taken into consideration since waking up from my coma after my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury; possibly I might not be in such considerations despite being a female regarding the POG aspects, though in honesty I cannot speak or write for such individuals who are not in the POG category thereof as those who are Infantry/Calvary/Combat Arms/Military Police/Special Forces would be able to clarify such a view point as to despite being a biological female as to the aspects as to if I would despite not graduating Basic Training as to whether or not to be considered as a POG or what-have-you despite the MOS of 91A at the time of signing my paperwork after having fought to be emancipated to be able to join the Army branch of the United States of America's Armed Forces. While I could see that male submissive named JP being upset bringing up the medical realities in reference to the event at Renee's and Jason's house in regards as to his flesh having been ripped out when a whip was used, that is more of his ego needing to be taken care of in comparison to my care or my concern as per the ways which certain types of people are in reference to such situations as I already have described referencing how such psychological attachments occur referencing the Professional and Non-Professional aspects as to that type of adult lifestyle connectionary portions. In such references the psychosis of such in reference to the wishful connections to continue in such regards and keeping such in a proverbial smaller box in comparison to flourishing in other ways, I could see such problematic portions and such hypothetical psychosis in such ways as to not letting go of such situations as per the terminology of not being able to teach an old dog new tricks; mainly because of the fact as to the wishful thinking of keeping oneself in such a proverbial box, in ways which the facts as to having to accept various portions thereof as to what I had already explained in person as well as online regarding the connectionary points thereof when in reference to getting involved with a younger female and/or younger couple and the need to actually let such go as per that not having been his actual relationship and was their relationship to begin with well before ever meeting him.

I know the possibility of having known him before they officially had gotten into the adult consenting lifestyle, however the fact as to them not having officially been involved with the adult consenting lifestyle until after a certain point within their own lives individually as well as a couple; such portions thereof regarding such hypothetical psychosis of such portions to evaluate regarding such aspects thereof. As I had seen the ways which his body language had been that evening as well as how he had spoken with Renee as well as Jason and other members within the ClubFEM DFW group that evening which included who at the time I had been involved with named Patrick Kennedy, I could look and see such portions as to the ways of which he had wished to connect with such in a different way though in order to connect with such in those ways such portions of self-reflection had been mandatory despite what his responses had been when speaking with him in other such times. I saw how the manipulation as to the ways which he had spoken and the ways which he would choose to move towards individuals in ways which the individuals thereof would be able to review such portions and a male submissive without a direct connection link to a female though how such offers were made regarding such timeframes thereof, I could also see how such manipulations to try to hold such over one's head regarding what had been done for with the unseen though in plain sight strings attached regarding such aspects. For one example as to such portions in reference to either the first or the second time of seeing him at Renee and Jason's house of him bringing up his knowledge of some of the Homeowner's Association people within their neighborhood, which at such times having already dealt with the Homeowner's Association board when I had my house in #mysa #SanAntonio #SanAntonioTX #SanAntonioTexas #SATX San Antonio; I had recognized the cookie cutter type of exterior portions referencing such aspects and when he had brought up taking care of lawn maintenances for some of the Female Professionals, I had already known of such portions regarding those types of aspects. When I told him I was having to sell my house and I did not have a Homeowner's Association in the earlier times in 2010, I watched how he started to push himself away from me physically when saying such. In such ways as to the first event had gone in reference to being at Renee and Jason's house in regards of the bathroom, I admit I was a bit protective and my Mom aspects as to my claws started to work their ways forward though I restrained myself in comparison.

When he had brought up how he enjoyed cleaning the interior of some of the Professional Female's houses as to being able to make sure to sweep through everything, the wording seemed a bit weird regarding other aspects to which such portions additionally sent such claws in such proverbial ways thereof; which my response in words to what his statement had been, he knows what I whispered in his ears as to such regarding what I told him to be wary of. When another time he had brought up his work in technology, I had made sure not to bring up what my biological mother had done in reference to working at #Prudential Prudential doing coding aspects as per the ways which I knew what aspects in far greater details as to such portions thereof referencing such a type of male submissive as to having seen such portions before having grown up in New Jersey though more specifically the #NYC #NewYorkCity New York City aspects thereof. If Renee and Jason recall, I had brought up several legal aspects for them to keep in mind in reference to what had occurred regarding New York City more specifically in ways to protect themselves regarding such portions while unable to speak more officially as to the situations regarding how they viewed him as a simple older male in comparison to what he had actually been in such regards. I made the choice to destroy his ability to ever go forward with such a legal portion through bringing such up in "Finding A Silver Lining By: Susan MeeLing" as I could see such portions thereof in his past referencing to where he said he had already lived in different discussions, and I was not going to allow him to be able to do so to them despite his wishes if anything had gone south as such prior times which admittedly he did not speak of; however having seen such a type of male submissive before regarding such portions, I admit as to such aspects referencing the IRS portions in a way which automatically would remove any such extortion aspects which I could see such aspects to that type of a male which would wish to have more in such greed when realizing he would not be their third; however there are certain similarities I had receognized in him from others such as when living in New Jersey as well as when working as a waitress in #IHOP #IntenrationalHouseofPancakes IHOP from other aspects I had noticed, regarding the franchise owner Mike at the time though as well as certain aspects in reference a female who became a manager there I had gone to high school with named Melody.

However in such references as to the aspects of having to restrain myself while remaining under control of myself with the additional aspects of the proven patterns of behaviour as to when voluntarily moving from one location to another despite certain other factors referencing my transfer, my responsibilities which have to be taken care of during a such have to be completed first for certain aspects as well as since the electrical portions as to what occurred in reference to when in Washington state has to be taken care of in reference to other aspects to ensure the acclimation of such is not a problem as it was after having moved back to Texas after such portions. While in such circumstances regarding returning to the state of Texas similarly to the reference as to finally getting the transfer taken care of due to the problems because of #OlympusProperty #OlympusProperties Olympus Properties and receiving other such problems to deal with because of such situations thereof, the added needless situations which occurred upon the first two weeks meant the portions of responsibilities to take care of due to such situations, meant exactly as such because of those particular situations referencing such other aspects. Unlike some individuals I am a bit more peculiar as to several aspects and when the known problems as to the Olympus Properties had become what it had been in reference of the situations thereof, a personal choice for myself had to be made in such regards. While some might wish I would just go with the flow, I have a proven pattern of behaviour when certain signs are noticed I will go as per what is best and most ideal as per the situations thereof; which might seem unconventional however since the memories from my childhood and my teenager years instantly started coming back, there was the sign as to which the requirement I put onto myself as to how I knew better about such aspects meant the time of which was required for me to take care of certain aspects meant the need to review such portions.

As I do not have a relationship to discuss the aspects thereof with, as there is the portion as to not having the friendships I once had in person, and as there are the realities of which in reference to my personal background having been as such; the requirements I have put onto myself referencing a multitude of portions meant there was no need nor any requirement to officially report to anyone regarding my personal processes thereof. In addition to the fact I had not stated a specific timeframe as to going to such a medical location of facility as well as the first birthday in 21 years remembering such on my own despite how the situations have gone regarding such aspects in reference to the transfer as well as the problems thereof needing additional clarifications referencing the portions of such problems due to those people involved with Olympus Property and the apartment complex of Carrington Oaks, my choice to take care of situations the ways in which are required are as I deem necessary compared to what others might think they know when there is not the knowledge nor is there the understanding nor the aspects as to comprehending such portions in a larger way; referencing the specifics of the after effects of my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury and thus, such additional needless problems do not assist the situation and only add time to such situations due to the requirements I have put on myself. The irony of such problems and situations referencing such if the ability to just do as I had needed to take care of initially in reference to the transfer request in January 2021 to the process which should have occurred no later than March 2021, the having gone for the medical portions in such time would have been taken care of. However since the needless involvement of other individuals ever thinking they had the slightest inclinations as to how everything would go and then their choices for their egos thinking they knew or understood what my processes would be in such references, is a different set of annoyances regarding the ways which has gone in such regards. The rage as to how some have thought they know better when in all such years from the time of waking up from my coma all the way to the current year of 2021, only one doctor ever being able to explain one portions is a fury to which how so many have thought they had any knowledge as to such in comparison to what I have comprehended over such times in comparison.

I did not think it took a head injury to figure out when only one doctor who has ever had any capability to know anything as to how to explain such and every other aspect has had to be explained by me, the requirement as to what I would know of myself would be greater than anyone else's try to explain or guess as to what the processes would be in references thereof in such hypothetical aspects. Unlike any other situation which despite having done exactly as I said I would when murmering to myself or even private notations in regards of such situations despite the ways which certain harassment and stalking has been in reference to other aspects such as my Medal of Honor Art Project which should have been considered as a sign majorly in such aspects in conjunction as to how situations went when returning to the state of Texas though in such references of having gone back to Texas and doing exactly as I said I would in the ways which I knew would be best for such, the ironic portions as to what seems as the lack of ability of others to simply pay attention to the fact I know myself better than anyone else ever has thought they knew anything of me unless I had explained such details thereof. I did not think it took a head injury to figure out with such more recent examples of situations as to the problems from such times being added does not make me move faster though actually slows such processes down when the involvement of others gets in the ways of what I already know of how to handle my own situations regarding such aspects, and since it is the first time of actually living along the east coast as to such memories having flooded back instantly; how that would automatically mean the references as to how I have written as soon as getting to the east coast being enough of a sign for those who would have ever needlessly involved themselves in reference to the civilian sector especially in reference to those who once knew me in person though had not ever actually known me by their choices would need to remove their own ego in such aspects to ever think about anything in reference to me as when they have not known themselves how is it they could ever have known me?

However as per returning to the state of Texas and having gone to two different medical locations within the state of Texas as well as such lack of ability for such two different locations of ever knowing what to do or what to ask in reference to any such additional portions prior to appointments, why would it be a pondering or concern of anyone else as to how I personally know myself in comparison to what others have only assumed for going on the past 21 years? If going off of those in reference to my ex-in-laws, what is it they ever knew about my medical portions? The answer is nothing except what they were told by me about such aspects or what was allowed to be told by their dead-relative//spiritual husband at this point in time, as the reality of what was allowed to be told to them about my medical portions by my now dead-ex-husband their spiritual husband was only what he was allowed to explain about such of what he was allowed to know in reference to the medical portions as I had already explained and already written about additionally; he only went to a small number of my doctor appointments in the multitude of my appointments from the years of knowing him after the first few months of being stationed in Medical Hold Unit which he only heard of me and only heard about me through to the time of when he had died, in comparison to the number of appointments I had between being stationed in Medical Hold Unit now Warrior Transition Unit through to the time he had died. What is it he would have ever been able to tell or discuss with anyone when all he did was go from looking at Cardiothoractic portions to going into breast cancer research as per discussions I had with him telling him what to do in reference to such cancer research, when truthfully evaluating such portions? When his eldest sister knew nothing except her ego and her lack of ever having any knowledge beyond what she had been informed of, what is it about me she ever had proven to be accurate about me over? With what her assumptions had been over such years as well as her proven portions in reference to writings in #Facebook facebook messages and any other such hypothetical behaviours and commentaries thereof, where has she ever been accurate about me?

The same in reference to such a question regarding her two children, and any such assumptions, as well as what were their choices which ever proved any accuracies from those people? I would guess a less than 8% ratio of accuracy in a combined aspect of the three females, and when adding the portions of my ex-sister-in-laws husband at the time David Osteen possibly only getting up to a 9 or 10% of accuracy only because of knowing others with a head injury in their background; though taking such into consideration, how much has been accomplished in such medical fields only because of what I had done and what I had informed of, in such regards? If I am accurate about such percentages, it would be fantastic if those particular needless stresses from the Olympus Property individuals as well as the more recent situations simply were not something needing to be taken care of regarding on my behalf due to such accuracies as well as what I have already done and proven regarding my willingness to assist though also in reference to knowing more about what needs to be completed prior to ever getting to the location of to ensure all such responsibilities are actually taken care of correctly in comparison to what has occurred needlessly especially since returning to the state of Texas in 2019 as per the lack of ability of anyone to have gotten anything fully accurate referencing how to hand such situations in such hypotheticals if any had ever actually guessed correctly referencing any aspects regarding my return at such times in 2019 through onward. In turn my other ex-sister-in-law who had absolutely no knowledge in a larger way except for what I had informed her of and additionally the same in reference to my dead-ex-husband as well as other such situations, the lesser percentage regarding her and even though one of her daughter who the niece who had been allowed to go to Florida had gotten her psychology degree; what is it that they in combination have ever been accurate about in percentages? I would guesstimate the percentage even with the psychology degree would actually be around less than a 5% of accuracy referencing how I would respond which in turn, what is the legal requirements for the medical practices within the legal realms of doing so in reference to specific waivers and legal forms before ever getting involved with such portions? As I already brought up the legal portions in reference to a female I once knew who had acknowledged she had tested me and failed every individual step of the way despite her dad having been a resident at John Hopkins University, the legal requirements of insurance as well as a personal agreement would be required to pay attention to; of which none of which has ever been put into official records requiring such aspects, in such official ways as to specific dates thereof in the linear aspects and any such assumptions would only be assumptions on any and everyone else's part in comparison to what I know and understand and comprehend about myself.

As the requirements as to having to put into words for those with the lack of knowledge and/or more importantly the lack of understanding, excuse me for ever thinking such portions of explaining in fuller depths before ever setting foot toward the medical facility would be a requirement for the ease of others in comparison to the treatments I have dealt with whether in reference to assumptions from others and/or the wishes of others in such regards. I hope the tone of such has had the teenager attitude coming through for such a sentence regarding such of the more common aspects for such a statement written, as I have repeatedly proven I know and understand and comprehend myself and my situation more than any other by as I would guesstimate of over a 98% rate in comparison to other such numbers of percentages. I have not signed anything regarding any such allotments to which in turn such assumptions would only prove the lack of ability to ever actually have the intelligence to know how to move forward in any such ways, which with the additional portions of a Ceiling Fan Prairie Dog individual who had failed to follow commands regarding after having caught a Puffer Fish when in Cozumel/Cancun would not ever have the slightest capability of processing such information as per if I am accurate regarding such portions of such problems from that male the percentage of accuracy in that way would actually be less than 3% in such proof. I can guess such a percentage as per the ways which the phone calls went additionally to such times in reference to 2009 and the egotism and machismo of such an individual including the ways which the situations went in reference to Duke's Bar and Grille or I should write Duke's Seafood Bar and Grille in #Tacoma #TacomaWa #TacomaWashington #WA #Washington #WashingtonState Tacoma Washington as well as the discussions on the Bremerton Naval/Marine shipyard as despite if the hypothetical of him stalking and harassing being the epidomy of the definition of a psycho ex, the situations of which again only being allowed to know what he was allowed to know in conjunction with his admitting having not taken no for an answer as well as having broken into the bathroom when I was taking a shower in the resort and the aspects of him having admitted to messing with my personal and my purchased SCUBA Diving gear during such phone calls and such aspects thereof on the post.

In turn additionally referencing such who may have read only afterwards to what I have posted and/or written such as Nikki Lewis from Maryland and her husband Sam Lewis from Pennsylvania as to having modeled for Sam Lewis while Nikki Lewis had gone to college in the San Marcos/Austin area of Texas to work towards becoming a social worker in the child protective services realm, the wishes as she may have had to be able to decipher any such portions without ever being informed officially would be as such referencing the wishes as per the requirements of needing the actual portions of such terminology to ever be intelligent enough to work on such without any involvement in regards of anyone else's assistances; which in turn while the ironic portions as to yesterday's posting in reference to both the #CivilWar Civil War as well as the #WomensRights #WomensRightsMovement Women's Right's Movements, what was explained in such references as to those particular portions as to Dr. Mary Edwards Walker, and how could anyone ever move forward without such information being allowed in regards of when taking into consideration how it was explained to me as how she had contacted Sam Lewis after he had begun working with his photography aspects and built his company as to the ways which she had begun her college within the state of #Texas #TX Texas areas after certain aspects? How would she be able to know such of anything without having the requirement to be able to begin going to college at such times and what is the legal requirements for any such involvement into any such research referencing the medical portions thereof, which in turn what is the psychological disadvantages for such a female in such hypothetical portions as well as what are the ramifications for such a female who would think such to be considered as acceptable to wrongly and immorally influence anyone else in such references? What are the connectionary points to take into such considerations as to having seen the situations within the #Maryland #MD Maryland area which has a closer connection point to the #WAshingtonDC #DC Washington DC area as to how people have been seen to be treated, though if the hypothetical as to the lack of concern and the lack of capability for genuinity and truthful compassion; what are the connection points to look into, in reference to such a type of female who would hypothetically be similar to the females' involvement referencing the aspects of #DrMaryEdwardsWalker #MaryEdwardsWalkerMD Dr. Mary Edwards Walker?

How has such a female been seen and known to speak of and comment about females within the modeling aspects, the adult consenting lifestyle areas, and what proof of such portions regarding in trying to scare others while crowing as though knowing more than the portions as to such requirements before ever actually being able to graduate from college to become a social worker with children and teenagers? What hypothetically could be taken into consideration in reference to such aspects as to any such additional portions referencing the medical facilities regarding my daughter, when having initially met Nikki Lewis in the timeframe of 2010 which can be seen and found in a multitude of areas as well as in reference to those who she has/had known in person able to confirm such aspects thereof in such hypotheticals regarding such connection portions? Has there ever been anyone who has used certain aspects as a crutch to try to progress forward in comparison to earning such and only explaining portions in comparison to using as a crutch as claimed by others as to such, in the references thereof? While I admit some have claimed they thought and could claim they could prove such portions as to their assumption of my after effects from my Psalm Sunday in 2000 being used for anything other than an explanation, is there a reference to which such portions regarding such a type of female also using the female biological gender as to such disadvantages to others in comparison to how I have done what I could and have the background proof as to decades of going against such stereotypes to earn such accomplishments on my own while not using anything as a crutch the ways some people have done so?

For example Sam Lewis explained to me that he did not know as to other portions referencing the ethnic background as to how some people have looked at others as per where he grew up in Pennsylvania, and yet in such population areas such as Philadelphia the demographics of such an area during the 1960s into the 2000s has been what portion as to the actual aspects of being ethnically skin color blind compared to others who have wished to project such situations referencing others' viewpoints in comparison? As he explained to me about females he knew in the areas of who had assaulted him as well as took advantage of his nature towards such ends, what could be evaluated as to the possible manipulations of a youthful relationship previous to the times of 11 September 2001 to the after portions in time for such evaluations when looking at such in truth comparatively? In such references how many have thought the state of Maryland to be overlooked regarding such aspects while the actuality of most within the area of Virginia through to #NY #NewYork #NewYorkState New York state and #PA #Pennsylvania Pennsylvania individual's knowledge and understanding of the requirements referencing travel though the realities as to such individuals in some hypotheticals thinking that such portions could ever equate the state of Maryland to being anywhere close beyond the geographical locations to the state of New Jersey, in such references? What is the historical portions of people from the state of Maryland compared to the people from the state of New Jersey for such original colony history, and the actions and choices thereof to be looked into for such considerations referencing such choices?

For those who do not know though can look at a map while many from New Jersey have and do travel to New York as well as Pennsylvania in the more northern and western portions of the state of New Jersey as well as the southern areas of New Jersey traveling down to the northern areas of through and/or to the state of #VA #Virginia Virginia for travel for commuting for work and employment, most people from Maryland do not travel to Virginia or other such states the ways for employment and thus while there is not the doubt as to the events of 11 September 2001 impacting such individuals; what is the higher probability of the actual in person known aspects of people known in person of someone from New Jersey compared to someone from Maryland for such connection points referencing the attacks on 11 September 2001? How many people have stolen identity of others who had actually suffered situations within the areas of the east-coast been found to have pretended such only because of having certain physical traits only seen in the facial pictures and images thereof compared to the rest of the physical body which if in such references of hypotheticals, what would Sam Lewis have known about the physical body of who he had known prior to 11 September 2001 compared to after whenever the female who I had met named Nikki Lewis which may have caused a moment of pause regarding such portions because of whatever had already been written online which could have been found for such a timeframe which hypothetically would differ fully?

Could there hypothetically be a birthmark which he would have seen in a specific location which would not have been documented and could not be replicated which would not have been seen in a driver's license picture for example, which hypothetically could not be found and/or a different location of an unseen birthmark in a place which there was not ever one to begin with for the reference aspect to the common name of Nicole? If accurate was the spelling he knew of the shortened name truthfully with an i, in comparison to the spelling in handwritten letters of with the letter of y in comparison which could hypothetically jog such a truthful portion as to the spelling of the shortened name regarding such aspects regarding the hypothetical of identity theft regarding especially after the attacks of 11 September 2001? For one additional example, what is the typical verbal accent for those from the areas of comparatively when speaking in a calm way compared to when being upset and what accents come forward regarding such aspects of which are known to be uncontrollable when the temper flairs regarding such aspects as to the accent when speaking aspects?

I have been told when I get mad or upset my New Jersey accent automatically comes out no matter how much I have worked on keeping that portion under control referencing such portions when having dealt with moving to a suburban town in Crystal Lake Illinois as per the daily situations thereof which I know I am not the only person who has worked on that portions of speaking, though in turn I would guesstimate for the example of using who I have called Cutie Patootie Marine or he is more well known to others as Johnny Joey Jones as to having noticed the #GA #Georgia Georgian southern accent slowly decreasing when speaking on air with Fox News; though it would not surprise me when he gets upset or irate, if his Georgian southern accent flows outward more commonly. In such aspects in reference to Sam Lewis regarding the portions of over the years since his relationship after 11 September 2001 compared to prior to 11 September 2001, would there be an available portion to look into in such references in regards of such a verbal accent which has ever pulled at his ear for such a situation? One additional example is having met a male who said he was in the area of New York City during the attacks of 11 September 2001 though when asking specific questions which since I grew up walking around the area of New York City in the 5 boroughs compared to when I was asked about driving in New Jersey which I had not ever driven a car in New Jersey before having been moved to #IL #Illinois Illinois which would mean I would not know the exits for which the area I had grown up in though in comparison to having walked around various areas of the boroughs of New York City for such would know the specifics required regarding the intersections of streets as per how directions are for such an area when walking around in comparison, there was an oddity in such references to which I felt was a bit odd for such times as per those who have such knowledge and understanding how the corners regarding walking around such in the 5 boroughs is; what possibilities of common traits could be noticed and/or seen in such references, as well as within the speech patterns and the accents thereof for those who had lived in such areas even if only for the college aspects which would automatically catch the ear of?

What is the percentages regarding identity theft previous to 11 September 2001 from the east coast area known as a melting pot proverbially regarding the northeast coast which only such portions of television shows and movies would portray in brief compared to those who have grown up in such areas regarding the aspects as to the situations after the attacks of 11 September 2001, and how many missing children and/or children in the foster care system been known to have gone under the radar; in reference to the aspects brought forward previously in reference to the situations after 11 September 2001, and the ways which the overall population had been for such times prior to 11 September 2001 regarding such aspects? With the amount of chaos and confusion in the areas of 11 September 2001, what would be the higher probability to such aspects of the ways to properly investigate such a breech in security referencing not only the airplane situation though also the known aspects to the saying of boots on the ground for such a situation regarding an attack against the United States of America? How many during such times were able to be verified in comparison regarding such portions regarding the security measures thereof and if such individuals were to push forward regarding taking advantage of the adult consenting lifestyle aspects, how could any step forward regarding such if there were any such portions held over the heads of for such adult consenting adult lifestyle behaviours? I repeat the portions of the differences between the Mandarin raising compared to the Cantonese raising and the verbage between the areas of the United States of America compared to the area of China for such references, though which countries have been more well known for such hiding aspects as well as which countries have had a larger amount of land masses which have not had the aspects as to the technology lines being laid regarding such and would only have the connection portions as to the aspects referencing the television and moves regarding the ability to partially learn about such aspects?

While the airplanes were being grounded, who was paying attention to the boat passages and the ports at such times of the attacks on 11 September 2001, and which coast would have been completely open for such to be looked into which has had the largest immigration population situations for such an open aspect regarding that particular coastal region which would fully not be looked at in the same ways as to the east coast at the time of 11 September 2001 and the weeks and months initially afterwards as per the security measures being put in place during such times? Documentation referencing such aspects were not to the levels which such are more commonly now, to which what area of the United States of America would be the open area of borders referencing such portions during such times? Yes more commonly recently the saying of Don't California Texas has been heard and seen in regards to the 2020 election, though what is the 20-20 view of such when taking the military looking point as to such a timeframe and the situations thereof regarding the logistical portions thereof? What full vantage points could be seen in reference to only the east coast and the areas of being impacted the hardest while those within the mid-west and the south paying more attention to the military aspects, whereas the west coast being known for the portions as to the glamour and the glitz to the proverbial and metaphorical blinding of such lights be taken into considerations? While I grew up walking around similarly to the New York City boroughs as well as the New York state areas when going as a child and a teenager just as in reference to Philadelphia and Pittsburg for such portions as to the aspects of the walking around and directions thereof in comparison to going on a subway or a train or a bus as well as the aspects as to the state of Pennsylvania for such a portion as to the aspects of certain oddities regarding the attacks of 11 September 2001, if there hypothetically was a large amount of time as per the focus being more-so by some in the ways of the air and the land compared to the seas; what areas of the United States of America would at such times have been the most open border aspects during the timeframe of 11 September 2001?

In such references for those who might have had such oddities regarding such references over such examples as put in the above few paragraphs whether referencing the hypotheticals thereof, who would have known of such portions regarding the aspects specifically known to a region such as #StellaDoro #StellaDro Stella D'oro more-so in comparison to Tasty Cakes brands for the areas of the names aspects? While admittedly I remember the brand Tasty Cakes more-so in reference to the bread store in the ways of the prepackaged pies locations in comparison to the more well known and more well seen locations now, I remember #Entenmenns Entenmann's and Stella D'oro far more from the times when I was growing up in New Jersey as well as when walking around the New York City areas and Pennsylvania areas comparatively. I admit I do not remember Wawa having Entenmann's or Tasty Cakes brands in #Wawa Wawa chain stores when I was growing up in New Jersey, as I remember Stella D'oro being mainly available within the areas of #Pathmark Pathmark and #AP A&P food markets as well as #Shoprite Shoprite foods; of which while the expansion processes thereof over the years, what are some foods which others from such areas for the examples thereof would be able to notice in reference to any such hypotheticals in their own lives regarding such connection points thereof? If not in reference to specific brands of foods, which local Mom and Pop restaurants or smaller chain restaurants are more well known referencing the areas among the east coast regions in comparison in regards of people who would specifically know where to look and why/how such to look for in regards to the timing thereof for the verification purposes able to be more well known to those who are truly from such areas and/or born and raised in comparison to those who have brought such up? Again in reference to the accent portions thereof when the tempers are flared, what are the accents which tend to arise in such portions from the areas claimed to having been from compared to the areas which are from referencing the accent portions thereof for those who have said they were wherever in such aspects which can be noticed? Since the availability to move around is more common because of the ease of transportation for some, there are those who have not ever left certain areas of an entire state and/or only lived within one state within their lifetime which in turn; who of which areas would be able to verify such portions for the clarification purposes thereof, for the reality checks in such regards?

I admit when in reference to the attacks on 11 September 2001 to what I had done, where I had been, who I spoke with in an overall sort of way, what was discussed, and etcetera which all can be verified if it has been done so regarding such aspects. In turn, where were others who could be able to verify such portions and where were those who have a different portion as to the ways as to which they speak referencing such aspects? Who similarly in reference of having to be told certain aspects in comparison to being able to volunteer such information despite however jumbled regarding the amounts of for such verification portions, in comparison to other aspects regarding the locations thereof which in some situations has only been able to be checked through the processes of the records kept by the technological portions as to the identifications of such individuals previously to certain times though the school pictures and the times of congregations which had a larger amount of images despite not the digital aspects as much compared to the film aspects of such pictures; and where are such and/or where were such film developments completed regarding such aspects, as well as which postal stops would such go through prior to the development of the negatives in comparison to the fully developed pictures go along such ways? What could have thought to be more simplistic in comparison to over time finding such complications regarding such portions as to the portrayals from some which truthfully did not add up compared to the confusions thereof and the lengthy portions of finding such details for those who have been curious as to such portions, and what paroxysms had been found along the ways for others who have done such ancestral research as to such connection points thereof while some have who would thought to have been more accepting had chastised instead of being as accepting in comparison and why? Name changes, pictures, and etcetera are only a few examples in such references to look into however the school picture portfolios thereof; how have any such digital aspects brought forward a difference regarding the backgrounds of the locations where there should be the familial connections thereof whether in reference to school pride and the connections thereof to smaller aspects not more well known and or the aspects to which would have to be researched to be able to find such information?

What foods of which would not be normal to the areas which may have been claimed regarding such aspects are preferred as a delicacy in such ways, compared to what aspects as to the portions of the Mom and Pop restaurants though also the Mom and Pop stores from such times? While on and around the time of 11 September 2001 where those who were more focused upon whatever their focus was those of the United States of America's Armed Forces which includes higher levels of government agents who have traveled for various reasons have been accustomed to traveling around various areas and would know certain attributes of specific foods which would be customary to the locations of which would be considered as home cooked foods for such aspects, whereas civilians would not necessarily pick up on such attributes without the ability to have traveled to such locations if not having been from or not having gone to such locations. For example I remember listening to Donald Trump Jr speak about how his Mom had taken him overseas to where she had grown up and known of the lines for the food portions of the waiting as to teach him and his siblings as to the value of such portions within the United States of America, to which what similarities in such references can be picked up in reference to other locales though within the United States of America?

However in reference to Kelly Air Force Base and a male named Joseph Estes which there are those who had known more about how his responses had been during the initial ending of the relationship between he, his wife Megan Estes, and I minimally at such times as well as to what occurred immediately at the ending of the relationship when I walked away from the two of them as well as knowing whatever problems transpired between him and/or them and Mike's friend Allen which they both knew before the 4th of July 2012 event that I had a crush on Allen because of them having known about the cupcake timer I gave to Allen; the individuals within the San Antonio Texas adult consenting lifestyle communities know as to how such situations went in reference to such times thereafter regarding the short and the long term aspects, as how such went well afterwards to the current times thereof regarding Joseph and Megan Estes' situations as to whatever drama transpired when I had not spoken with people in any of the other communities at such times to which I had been involved with. Though Joseph Estes looks similar to a male I knew in Medical Hold Unit as PFC or Specialist Marksbury/Marksbery (?spelling?) who I had argued with about listening and successfully won to be able to listen to Eminem music to the point which the transfer occurred to where I worked with the #USNavy Navy and the #USMarines #USMC Marines on post which he was upset about me getting along better with the Special Forces guys of such within Fort Sam Houston before the movement of their unit over close with the now named #WarriorTransitionUnit #WTU Warrior Transition Unit by #JBSABAMC/SAMC just as Megan Estes looks similar to Patti Stewart of the International #SCUBA #SCUBADiving SCUBA Diving school in #CarrolltonTX #CarrolltonTexas #Carrollton Carrollton Texas as previously described in such various situations, the portions as to the prior aspects of which goes both ways in such regards referencing specific details being known compared to specific details being told about.

I suppose in a different irony in reference to the fact Patti Stewart had been upset because I wanted to plan my own family vacation in comparison to what she had wished for in reference to my choices and explanations as to why I had chosen the way I had in reference more specifically to #FL #Florida Florida, the portions as to why I had chosen not to go to #Disney Disney for the first family vacation and due to situations thereafter the only family vacation I was able to have regarding my son and my daughter and I more specifically; referencing the aspects as to the physical looks of both Joseph and Megan Estes to Marksbury and Patti Stewart it is a small world, though they can have the high pitched Soprano singing as per the ways as Lackland Air Force Base had in reference to my biological mother's wailing as I go onward listening to the music of my personal choices as per enjoying which female artists I prefer along with which male artists I prefer. By the way it was not anything against Disney, it was simply wanting my family to have something I created just for them as per the first family vacation as I could distinguish the difference between the facts thereof; while also knowing myself regarding the responsibilities I had for such times, compared to what I was accused of falsely.

However in references to my musical choices depending upon my mood such as apparently the name of #Eminem Eminem being #MM Marshall Mathers along with #ChristinaAguilera Christina Aguilera and #LilKim Lil' Kim with a smidgen of #FoxyBrown Foxy Brown and #Beyonce Beyonce added to #TimMcGraw Tim McGraw and #CarrieUnderwood Carrie Underwood as I choose as an irony referencing the name choice I had created for myself of Lady Dori Belle as to the ironic twist of #LadyGaga Lady Gaga as per the complaints and whining, I had not cared to listen to from such then and the same in reference to now regarding those who understand such reference points thereof.

The irony in reference to the definition of insanity is trying multiple ways as to expecting different results regarding certain individuals, to the metaphor of trying to change my ways and trying to change my mind on what I know and understand and comprehend is best. While some have tried using reverse psychology and thought such would work despite the fact of explaining I studied psychology among other medical and scientific aspects while I was in 5th grade more heavily among other subjects I had studied during such times, however such views are regarding my age as to being biologically young the educational aspects of my background despite such mainly being considered as specialties there is a portion to which sometimes specialties are more important than some realized previously. Sometimes college degrees are of importance more-so in a broader spectrum of aspects however other times those specialties can lead to a specific type of precision in sight as well as ability to know what is seen to be able to understand how best to go about situations for the ability to comprehend for more to be able to open their eyes to know, for their beginning portions for their own understandings from what specialties which their comprehension can assist in furthering the growth for more betterment for a larger number of individuals. I may look as I physically do and though my background is scattered in various ways among multiple branches and divisions thereof, it does not change the facts as to the abilities at times which such portions can be more useful and helpful despite such portions thereof. There are reasons for which those with certain specialties have brought forward a specific unique viewpoint forward and their aspects of such have saved many lives as well as helped many more to live onward to which in such aspects as to the portions thereof, being inclined to a different pathway as to seeing the abilities for the advancements in a multitude of ways to which the elite are capable of knowing and being more than once was thought of such by some.

There is a show I found called #CIA #CIADad CIA Dad in which the #AmericanCIADad American CIA Dad had an episode which he had not been able to discuss certain portions of his background to which even though only more recently seeing such an episode regarding how such went before he went back to the CIA even though a cartoon, in ways I felt a bit in my heart for such situations regarding having already known and understood of some individuals with certain backgrounds having such a situation in a multitude of ways. While the reality as to not having many pop culture references to relate to more regarding such portions, that particular episode struck a chord with me referencing how many times I had already defended those with military backgrounds to quite a few individuals as explained; which finding such a #MikeDrop Mike Drop and #VigilenceElite Vigilance Elite channels on #YouTube YouTube and knowing they can go into certain specific details makes me smile, knowing there is finally a way for such guys from the backgrounds thereof to be able to bring forward the specifics of to be able to share such knowledge despite in which capacities thereof to be able to assist others to look towards more while growing and continuing forward with such educational portions. I can almost see my Grandpa Gavett smiling as to such as I know my Grandpa Gavett was unable to go into many details regarding several aspects with adults he knew, and the ways of which to assist bringing forward more for the ability to find ways to work through various situations as to others being more aware as well as more cognizant of portions which were known and yet unknown all at the same time.

In such portions in such references as to how such in plain sight and yet hidden and yet known while some understand the realities to which the references of the BDSM Lifestyle & Military Collision entry on fetlife while also taking into consideration the 50 Shades of Bullshit portions of such entry, the realities to some view points in such a conjuncture as to the ways which some have thought one way in comparison to seeing different viewpoints thereof. While I could envision as per the other aspects listed regarding my ex-in-laws in such ways I can also see such aspects referencing my biological mother and my biological sister thinking they could pin point such in the references as to the 50 Shades of Bullshit while not taking such aspects into consideration as to who I had been all along, to which the percentages I would guesstimate would be around the same levels in a different combination as to the lack of accuracy referencing such portions thereof to how I would respond. In such references if the regards of the 50 Shades of Gray series had been where the characters went in different directions and instead of staying true to their lines and switched things up, how easily I could see how my biological mother and my biological sister would wish such portions would be true for my aspects while not having paid attention to how I am the same as how I had always been referencing my personality traits. I have always been Dominant type A personality with different portions of other aspects intermingled as per what situations needed which care and which concern, which in turn while extremely Dominant in who I am the wishes thereof regarding such portions as to any other ways in which I could easily see those two more specifically wishing to be more in control than they are of themselves to which if one cannot control oneself how could one control anything else? Thus in turn the reference aspects as to my biological mother and/or my biological sister most likely having fallen for the 50 Shades of Gray and thinking that would be the way which they would guess and fail at such guesses regarding who I had always been when taking into consideration as to how I had written my books referencing the Paroxysm, if such were to have been which once again while I had not read the 50 Shades series I dealt with the problems thereof from such males thinking that being dominant towards me meant I would ever be interested in comparison to also what situations were going on during such points in that timeframe when learning about the book series itself.

In the time I learned about that book series as per my then roommate Alicia who had gotten along with my biological mother in comparison, the portions of which I was infuriated and then understood as to why a larger number of males were annoying me as to how the wishes of how they thought they would cause me to change who I am in reference to their wishes to my submission especially with everything going on at such a time; the problems to which I had been telling people and warning them about in regards as to the needless problems and needless threats at such times, were unnecessary to which in turn I could see some within the adult consenting lifestyle in San Antonio at such a time thinking that would ever be something I would go along with in comparison to paying attention to who I am and who I had always been. In such thinking regarding ever of such portions and having had to repeatedly defend myself more than I already had to because of such combinations of such aspects at those times, that particular book series and the author of as well as the publisher company of have been a major array of needless additional problems regarding what was already going on in my life. I already hated what I was dealing with and truly needed more than what was going on to simply just begin to work in my favor in comparison to what was going on, which in turn in order to find out of such that would mean not to assume but to ask me as to what I personally needed and to do so means in person in comparison to any other way.

For example which in this particular journal blog entry if the ways which my writing have shown anything as well as any prior writings despite in my books having kept along a linear path in such aspects for specifics thereof, when explaining other portions as per journal blog entries and the ways thereof; I suppose there is the aspects able to be seen in reference to which there is not the capability to guess which ways such portions will go, and the requirement for such aspects of finding such out would be in the ways of being in person compared to assuming. When not in a relationship as I am not in a relationship there is not the ability to guess such portions as to what I need nor what I require for which the example as to this week earlier in such reference aspects as to why I went where I had, there was not a discussion with anyone in such regards. The length of the drive in which there was not any discussions with anyone in person as to such aspects and what was needing the ability to discuss in person in reference to where I had specifically gone to and the reasons why as to such purposes was not seen by others, despite the amount of pictures I have posted through my instagram account in combination as to the portions of which regarding other Irving associated aspects; yet while I dealt yet again another lengthy trip alone and on my own in the car, the aspects of which the potions as to such thoughts as the ways which my thoughts go, I would guesstimate none saw such portions referencing what I had been upset about in comparison to when I had written and clarified other portions in yesterday's posting for a small point of such time. The aspects of which I had created my book series additionally were not from any experiences I had ever had personally for clarification purposes, as it was purely from an imaginative aspect and simply being creative; just the same as in the reference portions to my book Fail-Safe in such regards of only being in a creative imagination aspect to which while not being aware of anyone ever doing what I learned is called live action role playing until more recently in 2019 when being informed of such regarding out in the general public for some, possibly my infuriation as to other portions regarding not having been aware as to anyone ever doing such portions in such a way as to Excalibur Faire outside of the location regarding such as now the name is Sherwood in the Austin Texas area ever being outside of such portions.

Despite the linear aspects regarding my books being written in such specifics thereof whether in the regards as to the ways in regards of the non-fiction book "Finding A Silver Lining By: Susan MeeLing" with the non-fiction portions though giving monikers regarding "Finding The Silver Lining By: Susan MeeLing" and having explained to my son and my daughter I wrote the books "The Curious Children Book Series By: Susan MeeLing" using names I had originally wanted for them though had chosen other names regarding such portions because of honoring the family aspects as explained in the Finding A Silver Lining Book; I thought simply putting such portions of the specific genres would be enough to explain and distinguish such differences to pay attention to, not realizing how petty and how childish certain individuals could be despite having already explained what I had already dealt with and required the ease for my life in comparison to the needless drama additionally. Choosing to ever release my works of what I had created without my permission meant the facts of which were ignored in comparison to ever paying attention to the importances thereof, which in turn the lack of concern referencing such aspects in such regards when taking such into consideration as to what I had already been dealing with up to such points in time. Adding the situations written in facts and truth regarding "The Modern Day Book By: Reverend Susan MeeLing" in conjunction with the aspects of "The Adventures of Susan MeeLing, SCUBA Diver Extraordinaire By: Reverend Susan MeeLing" the three volume set both in non-fiction format for clarification, however if a female I once knew such as Renee thought such would be funny to release such books there is their lack of awareness to such portions of which are unforgiveable in all such ways and to which all such full retractions in regards as to which once had been seen as per the incapability for the adult aspects to be paid attention to as to the safety and concerns regarding the situations she had refused to acknowledge and refused to pay attention to the facts thereof as per wishing the childishness of such portions as had already been seen. I admit I thought the capabilities to grow out of such portions and to be capable of finding better ways for such an individual however if the choices thereof were to continue to look at such as nothing more than a game, then such is the way of which I refused and refuse to partake of. In such portions as to having had to relinquish the legal rights to my biological daughter which she had thought I was joking about, in turn if such were to be I fully relinquish all such portions regarding her and those she would be associated with in all such ways.

The warnings I had given in reference to what I had noticed in reference to the song sung by Rhianna regarding S&M were not enough for her to open her eyes and pay attention to the facts thereof to grow up as per the ways which those in the TNG adult consenting lifestyle at such times had not paid attention to the realities of such portions to which the aspects of the saving grace was when having had me in person to explain such portions, to which at minimum there are plenty of individuals who have been made aware as to such antics of such portions not being acknowledged before and the realities thereof being shown in such ways as to "The Modern Day Book By: Reverend Susan MeeLing". If she had done such on her own and through those she had known, then she alone can figure her own way out of the box she put around herself which I suppose the portions as to doing what I could to show her and others a better way were lost on such individuals to which in such aspects the discussion I had on the phone with one of the males in the Olympus photoshoot about who had been responsible for what occurred to my daughter and my son and I, can be directed towards her as well as those she associated herself with in my opinion in such discussions regarding the discussion with Rick. Ironically if I am accurate there is a location with such a name in the Austin area with his name, which she can refer herself as well as those of to for such portions thereof in my opinion for such connections and antics thereof; as additionally I had warned her and other females to not go to an exotic dancer club to take business away from the exotic dancers when going with ClubFEM to the local area exotic dancer club in Fort Worth or wherever as she had tried to get me to go and be a part of the charges incurred for such males in the group, which she had been upset by my warning as to how the females in those locations were focused on their finances and not assisting her with ClubFEM taking the males to such a location for their amusement.

Despite her having offered me $500.00 in cash for if I were to have gone with which I had refused to go and refused to be a part of while warning her as to how the exotic dancers would feel regarding such portions as well as what lengths they would go to if they found out about such which since Patrick was working as a security guard at The Lodge Gentleman's Club and I had told the male he worked for named John about such when speaking with him in the valet parking area to the side of the building on the left, Patrick had confirmed what Renee had offered in such regards as was refused for such aspects. That had been the main aspect as to what I had reported to the #IRS IRS in such references as per other females such as Michelle from the #DFW DFW area having also such a proposition from Renee among several other females who were involved in the adult consenting lifestyle, to simply just be themselves in comparison to how certain types of individuals in the opposite aspects of the 50 Shades book series had been referencing how the problems thereof in such regards. Which ironically in reference to my ex-in-laws would actually be accurate as to knowing how I had not been a professional dominatrix in such regards, as per the after effects of my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury and how I could and how I can only speak in the truth. To which in a different way if there had been the wish for the opposite regarding how Phillip had wanted to cause drama to become a power couple referencing the adult lifestyle and Renee had thought causing additional problems would be ideal for such portions, then I repeat such a commentary to which Rick had been informed of my opinion regarding such aspects thereof for such responsibilities to be taken in reference of; however thus the portions in reference to the aspects of the Tye Publishing portions regarding as to having to make sure to not allow such a pattern of behaviour in reference to my particular works thereof, as I had already seen and experienced such portions which I was not and am not willing to partaker in such aspects. Knowing and understanding to comprehend there is more to much without the need for such dramatizations, the aspects thereof were tiring to me in which the amount of having to defend myself and how it has been a pondering as to other aspects thereof. I have seen and heard about when there is another by one's side in comparison to being alone consistently as seeing the benefit, though knowing better than to settle for just what is comparatively.

Has it been considered as selfish in preference to what would be ideal, knowing myself? Or is it considered as intelligent knowing the aspects as to what is most ideal for myself, as the aspects of what strengths are required while also the softnesses thereof regarding such aspects in comparison?

I now know why there were those who had disagreed with the ways which myself included in such times as Master Walker had refused to allow certain types of females within the Dominant Mentor Program which if such were to be the reality regarding such aspects if found out referencing such portions as I had not hidden the realities of what I was dealing with, as I knew I was not the only parent as well as knowing there were those who had different backgrounds in the adult consenting lifestyle who had enjoyed such aspects thereof. Though I knew the importance of the discretionary purposes in the correct locations thereof in comparison to getting involved with what was not ever considered as a game or as a version of what was explained to me as a live action role playing thing, I also knew there had to be those who did not ever see such as a game proverbially or realistically. Just because I had expressed that I am a Dominant Female 24 hours a day 7 days a week referencing the aspects of the adult consenting lifestyle, I had not ever been a professional in such regards ever. I explained as I wrote in truth regarding such aspects to what I was dealing with in the forums as I had because I knew there were others who had needed assistance and the possibilities of others having ideas which could be beneficial to be able to assist clarifications and/or find better ways for the adult aspects while keeping such portions clear of minor children, because of the safety aspects thereof; though also in consideration of those who partook of adult consenting lifestyle portions while keeping their minor children out of such portions of the involvement within the aspects of because of how children are made referencing such aspects of conception.

Thus in such references as to the hypothetical in references of Renee having been a few years younger than I and despite the lack of belief as to my personal modesty referencing the ways which I had been at such times and had always been and just simply am modest regarding my particular choices thereof, as I had explained repeatedly the requirements for my involvement within an actual relationship in honesty and in truth for such portions of such are mandatory in the aspects I personally require. While I have been accepting of different portions thereof regarding the adult consenting lifestyle, the fact of being accepting of others' choices is exactly as such. Just because of being accepting of such does not mean I accept such for myself as my standards are my standards for myself and who I might be involved in a relationship with, in comparison to what others might wish in other such regards. Despite what I can discuss as well as what I can write about, I am far more of a hermit proverbially than I ever have been as an extrovert unless I personally feel comfortable though even still am extremely reserved. Those with specific backgrounds are simply just that way and with the culmination as to what I have gone through in the culmination thereof, there are specific types of individuals who know and understand while comprehending such portions thereof; to which I suppose is why in ways which wo I refer to as Cutie Patootie Navy SEAL Puppy Doggie or Rob O'Neal had to be warned in a way which would open his eyes as to what I personally was concerned and worried about referencing him and guys such as his background, which in ways not to bother or to burden with though to bring forward an awareness for their ability to find ways to combat such behaviours from certain types of individuals for those who they would comprehend might not see such portions themselves despite the training aspects and the oxymoron portions thereof.

I admit that particular individual there is a bit of a different affinity for regarding personal feelings referencing such an individual aside from the aspects of the beauty within the state of #MT #Montana Montana of which the admitted hope of though also the concern regarding such portions, as there was something which reminded me of a different aspect thereof regarding him personally aside from him having been who pulled the trigger last in the overall situation thereof as there were several who had done so; though the specific bullet which had been the final shot had been from his firearm, as per the ways which examinations occur for such portions thereof. A treasure he is, very much so yes; in more ways which are capable for me to put into words referencing such, as in certain ways as to which such an individual regarding various aspects though quick to move at other points I can see how the pun intended slug-gishness aspects as to other such movements thereof regarding the aspects as to various life portions. In that particular reference as to where he had come from as well as what he was being paraded around for as per the heroism of which many have earned such recognition in a multitude of ways, in him I saw a different aspect which required a quicker awakening in a shocking sort of way though knowing the ability as to which he would have those around him who would be able to assist clarifying other aspects would be able to hopefully show him an alternative path as to what the possibilities could be in a varied aspect thereof. Again the specialty portions and once achieving a certain level the same gradual aspects as to movements as per the ways taught in such portions of with the ways of required stealth aptitude, the attention to details of which once finding his way in a point of which would be possible for him in many ways seemed as though could be clouded in regards as to a few portions seemingly he had not been accustomed to in other ways.

Nonetheless in regards as to how the situations went after the initial pointing about the revelation as to what occurred in reference to the 50 Shades of Bullshit being shortly before when the Stoney LaRue Concert at Cowboys Dancehall had been in reference to the timing, those who had not believed me referencing such realities of which safety was and is a concern of mine regarding my son and my daughter and I as well as others; in such references, how such has been noticed or not I cannot say, when taking into consideration as to how several aspects have gone in such ways as my opinions are what my opinions are. Though pictures are worth a thousand words and more referencing such portions thereof, the words are far more important as well as the perception of the pictures though the pictures are more secondary to the words being of importance with the proof thereof regarding several aspects as in a third way when combined for such the clarifications are easier for understanding from the knowledge of. While I am still having difficulties believing as to how such had gone in reference to when returning to the state of Texas as well as the ways which such had been handled in a multitude of others ways, in other aspects I suppose I should not have been surprised as per the ways the time prior to how I wound up in Washington state had been in such references as per what I had told people about regarding what I was dealing with.

In turn the portions as to such additional situations afterwards and having attempted a different route regarding the more recent portions of simply going straight to in comparison, at what point does it ever matter when as much proof has been able to be centralized in such references and brought forward for such clarifications? While if I were a male the situations would have been taken more seriously to begin with which should not have to be for such realities being brought forward especially with the amount of truths combined thereof, the pondering as to why to bother in such references as well has come forward regarding as to what I have noticed in other such references as per my personal feelings after such a length of time as when as much as has been attempted on my side at what point does anything make sense to others? The aspects as to how such had been regarding the time prior to the 50 Shades posting had been my way of combatting the problems I had personally dealt with because of that book series to which if such portions as to a flip of their script, the problems which then hypothetically occurred because of the lack of explanations from their side regarding such in truth had caused problems needlessly in further portions thereof regarding the facts as seen.

It is not difficult for me to tell the truth and thus, why is it seemingly difficult for others to simply tell the truth in similar ways? Not partial truths, the full truth is what is important. As in school one has to do their homework for such an accomplishment to be recognized and thus, what homework in regards of others has to be done and what homework could have been done by now instead of procrastinating any further? I am not one to sit idly by and wait as the times when I had was the times when things were extremely horrific for me in ways of my childhood which I learned the faster I moved to get situations taken care of the quicker the changes occurred for the betterment, and yet while I have seen such in some ways the ways which would be most beneficial in such references despite my movement seemingly have been as per the value as seen regarding other portions as per the feelings thereof. In regards as to those in the state of Texas the proverbial olive branch had been extended from me to such aspects thereof in ways which I knew and know are clear referencing such without any other intentions behind such portions than such, to which in turn the ways which how the perception of the response regarding such times when having been in the areas thereof despite the situations referencing the masking only showed me the ways which such was not accepted in response and the requirement for me to move on with my life as per the ways which I know from how I understand in comparison. I suppose the irony regarding certain symbolism as per having extended a multitude of olive branches while yet the arrows which flew in comparison back towards instead had been proverbially noticed in regards of, in other such ways when taking such into consideration.

In turn I have had to fully walked away from the adult consenting lifestyle at this point as per that aspect having been such levels thereof to which that was not something I had thought people had played with unless getting the official consent through discussions as per the ways I had been taught regarding such portions back in 2004, to which the choices thereof regarding such aspects in the ways of the 50 Shades is exactly as such in my opinion regarding as to how such should have been and was intended to be. Consenting adults, having open and honest discussions in person for the ways which if consented to regarding such portions were to be consenting when discussed is important in my opinion.

As a female being Dominant in knowing herself in comparison to a blatant disregard as seen in other references in comparison to assumptions regarding such aspects despite having explained such portions as to my particular viewpoints thereof and how such to be in truth at minimum I have proven myself, and with the availability regarding the technological aspects; so too, have others proven themselves in whichever ways thereof. However, I still acknowledge such portions knowing there are some who are good within such aspects and not having been ashamed from my time within such as per my choices and my involvement though mild and minimal in several ways comparatively; at minimum the hope of a more positive impact, despite what I had gone through. Though I have written as much as I have as per the headache pain levels and the ways which my migraines have gone, the fact as to such portions to express myself as per such seemingly has been futile in other ways as because of the portions thereof referencing the 50 Shades series and the other portions regarding such aspects referencing simply speaking the truth when in person or online as per the ways which the technology sees such portions regarding the aspects thereof. Such transmissions have been able to prove such aspects as well one way or another, though what good has such been in reference to?

I have seen where it is good and helpful regarding many, though personally for myself such portions thereof have been difficult to process. I know it is technically good to be able to express oneself in honesty though in turn what good has come from doing so in regards as to the portions of what I had thought would assist in smaller ways admittedly for myself, I suppose in ways to find some aspects I have been able to in regards of seeing where there have those who have prospered from such. However in the aspects as to having prospered myself personally, while there have been ways to communicate outwardly; there is a difference in such aspects as truthful communication is a two way street and what my personal preference as to communication means actually being able to discuss such in comparison to putting such out there and then simply waiting. I have done so for years at this point regarding as many correspondences I have sent in hopes of actually receiving responses where I specifically am informed of the actual response to such portions in comparison to guessing, however for quite some time long ago I had felt as the lone ranger for quite some time as per the ways which life has gone thus far as per the portions referencing the number 13 in which I had been in regards of Basic Training and the ways which there was only me for several individuals regarding the one mile run. In the first 20-30 people or so to have the fastest completion times for the one mile run before officially going over to what was more specifically considered as Basic Training despite the nine days of over the tracks as per the way that Basic Training had been, when being one female alone in such times and the looks thereof referencing such during those points in time before the reassignment processes officially in the ways which occurred in person at #KellyAFB Kelly Air Force Base as to how when the time arrived for me to fly off and upward as per the saying at such times in reference to when it came time to spread my wings, that particular male explained which ways to go and though such situations have been as such to a degree; when the times thereof regarding leading the new way I thought he was joking.

How could I ever lead the way in anything is one of many thoughts at such a time, as at such a point I was only 17 years old and fresh out from my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury coma. How could I soar in such ways as described regarding such portions to new heights, realistically? While in some ways I suppose I can sarcastically write about a different type and an odd way as to soaring to new heights, however the portions thereof simply were as such had been all those years ago with as many moons had passed by at such times. With the energetic portions in such ways as to the 20 year memorial timeframe from 11 September 2001 approaching I wonder oh how I wonder, while reviewing a multitude of portions which I had noticed in a variety of aspects referencing the middle portions of this particular journal blog entry when I was growing up in New Jersey as a teenager in reference to others who I had known who were questioning such portions in different times regarding different people with different names; though with the portions as to the aspects of technology being more newer at such times in the 1980s and the 1990s to see such amounts of people questioning in such similar ways is the reference portion in such regards as to the ways of the situations during the 11 September 2001 aspects. In turn though I have a physical difference regarding my hairstyle and hair-color thereof in conjunction with the tattoos I have had made for me, the purposes thereof regarding such despite the ways which my hairstyle has changed though the specific tattoos and locations thereof as well as the ways which the energetic portions are referencing the illuminations thereof in other technological portions; I saw a benefit to such portions regarding such aspects as per the ways I had seen situation regarding when in such times in addition to the ways of such times when growing up in certain areas. I knew when seeing certain people in certain areas if they had traveled to other neighborhoods and/or boroughs as to how to recognize such individuals without hesitation, and thus I knew I could easily go up to them and speak with them in truth when I was younger. How such situations occurred in reference to other aspects since such times has been a situation to which having the ways which such time had gone in reference to 2019 through to when I had transferred finally, maybe such is only an east-coast situation in comparison to the ways of such times regarding when I had returned at one point to the state of Texas in comparison.

Having officially been told as to not ever knowing anyone with my name in such regards in one reference as well as the lack of response in other reference before the rallies thereof, I remembered how many people in person had told me I did not belong within the state of Texas; and in such times, I definitely felt such in the return time when having been back at the portions regarding such as per how such had gone. Admittedly the sight as to the amount of masks did not assist in the slightest either as that is not a friendly look in any way which in my opinion of such portions, however that is my personal viewpoint as to such aspects in another way regarding such. Then again it truthfully did not take the masks to see some in such ways regarding the ways of after the experiences previously within such an area from such times prior to winding up in Washington state, thus in reference to quite a few self reflection portions thereof; at minimum I can see the fact of being closer to my home regarding the east-coast overall as per prior to my Psalm Sunday 2000 head injury, as per the various locations I had gone swimming in different ways and times thereof well before getting involved with SCUBA Diving as I had told others over the years before putting such into writing.

Though I cannot remember which beach it was in the area below the #MasonDixonLine #MDL Mason-Dixon Line which I had gone to the beach as a child one year for one small trip after seeing the Albino Crocodiles at the #WashingtonDCAquarium #DCAquarium Washington DC Aquarium, all I know is there is one beach my Grandpa Gavett had shown me a picture of at a time afterwards regarding where was a location he had taught a few guys on the east coast after telling him I had gone with some friends later to a different beach in the New Jersey area and what I had done when swimming. Whichever area it was referencing the older picture which had started yellowing because of the age of the film print, I know the waters have changed and most likely some of the foliage regarding such an area; though the name of which the beach area was called in reference to one of the first groups of guys he had worked with in the area of, is something which I have the ability to work on the possibility of where it is. I know it has something to do with the supposed wall I am going to want to hug upon it putting stars in my eyes, though I do think I might be closer to the location of despite not knowing the specific name. I remember they had oval shaped masks in comparison to what are more common in such SCUBA Diving aspects for a few of the individuals, though admittedly I also do not remember if it was a fresh water beach or a salt water beach for the aspects of from the timing. There were some trees in the background though the tops of the trees were not visible with some bushes to a degree nearby and smaller waves rolling inward, though unknowing if it was low or high tide is a factor which would assist if that portions was known. Thus at this point while having worked on remembering such during the time of driving as well and the frustrations in addition to such aspects recently, in a different way I suppose I can sarcastically write this bullshit is 50 ways of different shades of annoyances to tie together such portions thereof for piecing such aspects together for myself while dealing with the other facets thereof.

Hopefully though my son #Letters4James and my daughter #Letters4Lidia are now above the age of 18 years old biologically at minimum, they can learn from what situations occurred to have a better life as I do the best I can to work towards a better life myself as well. I knew there would be a point in time which they would be old enough to be as adults which had been another reason as to knowing to be careful regarding such aspects, as with the technological portions thereof the requirement for myself for my children to be proud of me while seeing the best possible hopefully.